Last week at work was unexpectedly busy. A project came out of a meeting that I attended on Monday, and I spent the rest of the week working on it at a feverish pace. When I get extremely busy at work, I usually end up pulling my hair into a ponytail, since I don't want to be irritated by it. Since it was quite hot last week as well, my hair went up as early as possible each day.
I almost never wore ponytails until Hannah arrived. Then, they became my default as soon as I passed over the threshold. She always pulled at it, and now Max does too. I guess it's my version of a "mom cut" - I haven't actually chopped it all off, just keep pulling it back.
This weekend Hannah discovered pigtails (and braided pigtails for extra fanciness). I'm not very good at doing her hair, but I'm getting better at it. She looked so different with them in, but it's good for her to experiment. She shouldn't be stuck with a "I'm a four year old" look just because I can't escape my ponytails.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
A Busy Week
This week won't go down in history as one of my favorites. It's been a draining one.
Max's (formerly known as "BabyBee") daycare was closed on Tuesday, so I brought him to the back-up daycare center in my office building, which is run by Bright Horizons and is one of the benefits provided at my job. He actually had a great day, but I needed to give him a bottle on both legs of our extensive T ride. This was not an easy maneuver, but we managed. Having to contend with this change to my routine was interesting though. Usually I spend most of my commute on my Blackberry and/or ipod, and there was none of that happening.
On Wednesday we followed our usual pattern, which means I take the Green Line, C Branch, to pick up Max from his daycare. Then we walk a few blocks and get on the D branch to take that train home. We're on the train together for three stops, just about 10 minutes in total. We got off the train at Newton Highlands. That train continued on, and two stops later, approximately 10 minutes after we got off, it rear ended another train and the driver of my train was crushed by the impact.
I have been very upset and freaked out by this. At the point where Max and I get on the train, you are supposed to pay your fare (I have a monthly pass, so the T gets no new revenue despite me switching lines - but I usually try to follow protocol and get on at the front of the train). The front of the car seemed particularly crowded that day, so I made eye contact with the driver. I held up my pass and motioned that Max and I and his stroller were going to a door at the back. She waved me through.
Later that night, while she was still trapped in the wreckage (I have not seen when they declared her time of death to be, whether it was on impact or some time later), I saw her father on the news coverage. Based on his appearance, I was pretty sure he was the father of the driver of my train, and my heart went out to him. Fortunately, almost everyone on board was able to walk off the train, and just a dozen people were treated at local hospitals (it is estimated that a total of 200 people were on both trains).
I am incredibly thankful that Max and I got off the T when we did - I can't imagine what that would have been like. I don't want to imagine it. But I have been, over and over, since then. I'm not sure I'll ever get on a train again without thinking about it. And this is something I do five days a week.
Generally I'm a big fan of the T. It has its annoyances, to be sure - constantly running late, stopping unnecessarily long at certain stations, too crowded, too noisy - but it is a much better alternative than me driving downtown and paying outrageous parking fees. I know the chances of an accident like this happening are very slim, and far less than the chance of a car accident fatality. But it did shake me out of my "I love the Green Line" reverie.
On a MUCH, MUCH lighter note, I went to see the "Sex and the City" movie last night. My best friend and I purchased tickets about a week ago. We both figured that if we didn't go on the night it opened, we just wouldn't make the effort afterward, since we knew we see spoilers everywhere. We both expected it to be an okay movie, but nothing great.
We were pleasantly surprised. Despite the series being gone for so long now, it was easy to fall right back into the rhythm of SATC. I've always had an affinity for Miranda, and enjoyed her plot line very much. Charlotte had some great lines (though I don't appreciate potty humor, and was a bit sad that they brought that in). The movie was indeed long, but I felt it was necessary to show that happy endings can take their time in coming to you. We left the theater happy that we gotten to see it for ourselves, and saying that we would tell others to see it as well.
One point to note about the audience though - this isn't your living room! The theater was packed with women, gay men, and the occasional husband, and we were shocked at the noise level before the film started. The crowd cheered at the first sight of pink-colored font, and also cheered at the end. The group of women behind us felt it necessary to talk throughout the film, making little comments on the fashion or a funny line. While that is acceptable at home, it didn't feel right in the theater, and did detract from the experience. I don't particularly care whether or not you, strangers behind me, like Carrie's wedding gown - but maybe the discussion is part of the point and what makes SATC such a different experience.
Funny though, that for me the most decadent part of the evening was getting to use a public restroom without a child in tow! A rare moment indeed.
Max's (formerly known as "BabyBee") daycare was closed on Tuesday, so I brought him to the back-up daycare center in my office building, which is run by Bright Horizons and is one of the benefits provided at my job. He actually had a great day, but I needed to give him a bottle on both legs of our extensive T ride. This was not an easy maneuver, but we managed. Having to contend with this change to my routine was interesting though. Usually I spend most of my commute on my Blackberry and/or ipod, and there was none of that happening.
On Wednesday we followed our usual pattern, which means I take the Green Line, C Branch, to pick up Max from his daycare. Then we walk a few blocks and get on the D branch to take that train home. We're on the train together for three stops, just about 10 minutes in total. We got off the train at Newton Highlands. That train continued on, and two stops later, approximately 10 minutes after we got off, it rear ended another train and the driver of my train was crushed by the impact.
I have been very upset and freaked out by this. At the point where Max and I get on the train, you are supposed to pay your fare (I have a monthly pass, so the T gets no new revenue despite me switching lines - but I usually try to follow protocol and get on at the front of the train). The front of the car seemed particularly crowded that day, so I made eye contact with the driver. I held up my pass and motioned that Max and I and his stroller were going to a door at the back. She waved me through.
Later that night, while she was still trapped in the wreckage (I have not seen when they declared her time of death to be, whether it was on impact or some time later), I saw her father on the news coverage. Based on his appearance, I was pretty sure he was the father of the driver of my train, and my heart went out to him. Fortunately, almost everyone on board was able to walk off the train, and just a dozen people were treated at local hospitals (it is estimated that a total of 200 people were on both trains).
I am incredibly thankful that Max and I got off the T when we did - I can't imagine what that would have been like. I don't want to imagine it. But I have been, over and over, since then. I'm not sure I'll ever get on a train again without thinking about it. And this is something I do five days a week.
Generally I'm a big fan of the T. It has its annoyances, to be sure - constantly running late, stopping unnecessarily long at certain stations, too crowded, too noisy - but it is a much better alternative than me driving downtown and paying outrageous parking fees. I know the chances of an accident like this happening are very slim, and far less than the chance of a car accident fatality. But it did shake me out of my "I love the Green Line" reverie.
On a MUCH, MUCH lighter note, I went to see the "Sex and the City" movie last night. My best friend and I purchased tickets about a week ago. We both figured that if we didn't go on the night it opened, we just wouldn't make the effort afterward, since we knew we see spoilers everywhere. We both expected it to be an okay movie, but nothing great.
We were pleasantly surprised. Despite the series being gone for so long now, it was easy to fall right back into the rhythm of SATC. I've always had an affinity for Miranda, and enjoyed her plot line very much. Charlotte had some great lines (though I don't appreciate potty humor, and was a bit sad that they brought that in). The movie was indeed long, but I felt it was necessary to show that happy endings can take their time in coming to you. We left the theater happy that we gotten to see it for ourselves, and saying that we would tell others to see it as well.
One point to note about the audience though - this isn't your living room! The theater was packed with women, gay men, and the occasional husband, and we were shocked at the noise level before the film started. The crowd cheered at the first sight of pink-colored font, and also cheered at the end. The group of women behind us felt it necessary to talk throughout the film, making little comments on the fashion or a funny line. While that is acceptable at home, it didn't feel right in the theater, and did detract from the experience. I don't particularly care whether or not you, strangers behind me, like Carrie's wedding gown - but maybe the discussion is part of the point and what makes SATC such a different experience.
Funny though, that for me the most decadent part of the evening was getting to use a public restroom without a child in tow! A rare moment indeed.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
The First Thing to Get Dropped from "The Juggle": Blogging
I have been back at work for almost eight weeks now, and you might have noticed the total lack of blog posts since then. Not that I'm especially prolific, but it's even less than usual now. No specific reason for why, other than crazy busy-ness at work and less time to sit at the computer at home maybe.
I have a Blackberry now, so there's less need to sit at the computer at home too, but typing out a post from that device just seems ridiculous. And work really has been a lot of work. It's not that things weren't done while I was out for 12 weeks, but there were some major initiatives put on hold. Or maybe they were put on hold for my entire pregnancy, but it seems like my job has a whole new dimension since I've been back.
The kids are doing pretty well. BusyBee finally seems to be jealous of BabyBee, which is both frustrating and entertaining. She's acting out in ways that are totally unrelated to his existence - she's still totally in love with him - but it seems like her change in behavior has coincided with his more demanding needs. Obviously, I don't like the way she is carrying on, but sometimes I do find it really funny. This morning she said she'd no longer be my daughter if I didn't allow her to wear slippers during naptime at school (they are required to wear shoes, just in case they should need to leave the building). It's not even my rule, yet I'm the one being yelled at by a four-year-old. Somehow, within minutes it all blew over and she was fine by the time we got to school. I want to take her seriously, but I'm often holding back a smile as we engage in these moments together.
Mr. Bee has been on paternity leave for the past 8 weeks (thanks to his employer for recognizing that men are parents too!), and BabyBee will be starting daycare next week. No, not the same one as his sister. It's not even in the same town. So the past 20 weeks have been a trial run for parenting two children while maintaining two full-time jobs, a sort of suspended animation. Next week the real deal begins. While we have a plan for handling it, I think our schedules will be adjusting almost daily given whatever might be happening at the various jobs and schools. And since BusyBee switches schools in mid-June, I still feel like we're in a bit of a trial period. I guess that's just how parenthood is though - something is always changing, requiring constant little adjustments along the way.
I hope to get back to doing this more often, providing I have something worth saying in a public forum. I have just joined Facebook, and am finding it's very fun to post my "status" and quickly alert my "Friends" to my thoughts at the moment. I'm just trying to decide if I want this blog linked to Facebook, as I have deliberately kept this vague, which Facebook is decidedly not. Any thoughts?
I have a Blackberry now, so there's less need to sit at the computer at home too, but typing out a post from that device just seems ridiculous. And work really has been a lot of work. It's not that things weren't done while I was out for 12 weeks, but there were some major initiatives put on hold. Or maybe they were put on hold for my entire pregnancy, but it seems like my job has a whole new dimension since I've been back.
The kids are doing pretty well. BusyBee finally seems to be jealous of BabyBee, which is both frustrating and entertaining. She's acting out in ways that are totally unrelated to his existence - she's still totally in love with him - but it seems like her change in behavior has coincided with his more demanding needs. Obviously, I don't like the way she is carrying on, but sometimes I do find it really funny. This morning she said she'd no longer be my daughter if I didn't allow her to wear slippers during naptime at school (they are required to wear shoes, just in case they should need to leave the building). It's not even my rule, yet I'm the one being yelled at by a four-year-old. Somehow, within minutes it all blew over and she was fine by the time we got to school. I want to take her seriously, but I'm often holding back a smile as we engage in these moments together.
Mr. Bee has been on paternity leave for the past 8 weeks (thanks to his employer for recognizing that men are parents too!), and BabyBee will be starting daycare next week. No, not the same one as his sister. It's not even in the same town. So the past 20 weeks have been a trial run for parenting two children while maintaining two full-time jobs, a sort of suspended animation. Next week the real deal begins. While we have a plan for handling it, I think our schedules will be adjusting almost daily given whatever might be happening at the various jobs and schools. And since BusyBee switches schools in mid-June, I still feel like we're in a bit of a trial period. I guess that's just how parenthood is though - something is always changing, requiring constant little adjustments along the way.
I hope to get back to doing this more often, providing I have something worth saying in a public forum. I have just joined Facebook, and am finding it's very fun to post my "status" and quickly alert my "Friends" to my thoughts at the moment. I'm just trying to decide if I want this blog linked to Facebook, as I have deliberately kept this vague, which Facebook is decidedly not. Any thoughts?
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Hyper Parenting vs. Satisficing
Over the past couple of weeks, Mr. Bee and I have decided to enroll the BusyBee in a new preschool/daycare beginning in June. The decision was very difficult for me, for too many reasons to list here. In the weeks leading up to this decision, there were many 2 a.m. feedings that I spent obsessing over the contents of mass emails, and many stomach aches that I'm sure were stress-induced.
Her new school is not that much different than the old one. It's actually across the street, has the same schedule and similar philosophies of teaching. After all, how many different ways are there to teach the days of the week? And yet, I agonized about it. I felt so much pressure over this one decision, one of many that I've already made and will continue to make on the behalf of my children.
For a long time now, I've been reading about the hyper parenting phenomenon. It's like we can never do enough for these kids, and not just in the "they won't get into a good college" ways. I threw a tremendous birthday party for 18 of the BusyBee's nearest and dearest a few months ago, and we'll be going to 4 similar affairs over the next 5 weekends. Seriously - I just used the word "affair" to describe 4-year-old birthday parties.
When we made the decision to send BusyBee to her current school, in June 2006, I was taking a class on decision-making. I spent my entire midterm exam analyzing that real-time decision, specifically on the concept of satisficing. At some point in every decision, you must finally choose, and very often you pick the thing that best satisfies your needs. This often means settling for less than perfection, but the time invested in searching for that elusive perfection would "cost" more than the additional benefit obtained.
I felt we had satisficed in June 2006, and I feel like we're satisficing again now. Some factors have changed at her current school that make the new one seem more desirable, but I honestly have no idea if she'll have any better experience for making the move. I don't see the new school as perfection. But I do know that my stomach doesn't hurt anymore, and that's got to be worth something.
Her new school is not that much different than the old one. It's actually across the street, has the same schedule and similar philosophies of teaching. After all, how many different ways are there to teach the days of the week? And yet, I agonized about it. I felt so much pressure over this one decision, one of many that I've already made and will continue to make on the behalf of my children.
For a long time now, I've been reading about the hyper parenting phenomenon. It's like we can never do enough for these kids, and not just in the "they won't get into a good college" ways. I threw a tremendous birthday party for 18 of the BusyBee's nearest and dearest a few months ago, and we'll be going to 4 similar affairs over the next 5 weekends. Seriously - I just used the word "affair" to describe 4-year-old birthday parties.
When we made the decision to send BusyBee to her current school, in June 2006, I was taking a class on decision-making. I spent my entire midterm exam analyzing that real-time decision, specifically on the concept of satisficing. At some point in every decision, you must finally choose, and very often you pick the thing that best satisfies your needs. This often means settling for less than perfection, but the time invested in searching for that elusive perfection would "cost" more than the additional benefit obtained.
I felt we had satisficed in June 2006, and I feel like we're satisficing again now. Some factors have changed at her current school that make the new one seem more desirable, but I honestly have no idea if she'll have any better experience for making the move. I don't see the new school as perfection. But I do know that my stomach doesn't hurt anymore, and that's got to be worth something.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Miss Independent
This weekend we visited Hartford to stay with my in-laws and introduce more of the extended family to BabyBee. It was a nice visit, and included some quality time for Mr. Bee and I to go out alone, as well as afforded me the opportunity for a girl's night out with some of my friends. BabyBee seemed to enjoy the new environment and didn't mind being passed between all the relatives.
The activities of our BusyBee were more interesting to me though. I feel like I barely was needed this weekend, and indeed, she decided to spend an extra night and day with her grandparents while the rest of us went back to Boston. She spent a lot of time playing independently. I didn't have to take her to the bathroom at all, or convince her to eat any of the food she was offered. It felt like she didn't need me much. As I was leaving to go out last night, we did have a round of our new game, "No, I love YOU more," but my little girl is definitely growing up.
It's a good thing I still have this little baby curled up on my chest as I type this - he'll still need me for quite a while. But maybe someday the BusyBee will have her own blog - LilMisIndependent.
The activities of our BusyBee were more interesting to me though. I feel like I barely was needed this weekend, and indeed, she decided to spend an extra night and day with her grandparents while the rest of us went back to Boston. She spent a lot of time playing independently. I didn't have to take her to the bathroom at all, or convince her to eat any of the food she was offered. It felt like she didn't need me much. As I was leaving to go out last night, we did have a round of our new game, "No, I love YOU more," but my little girl is definitely growing up.
It's a good thing I still have this little baby curled up on my chest as I type this - he'll still need me for quite a while. But maybe someday the BusyBee will have her own blog - LilMisIndependent.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Four Years, Four Weeks, and Being a Family of Four
BabyBee will hit the one-month mark tomorrow. No, he wasn't the first baby in Boston (and I didn't see the coverage of who was, being that I was still in labor for half of January 1st). But he was delivered by an obstetrician who once delivered the first baby of the year in the country, so that must count for something. :)
We'll be celebrating by taking him for his one-month pediatrician appointment, as well as having BusyBee go in for her four-year check-up. It should be an interesting hour to say the least. I think both kids will be getting shots, which I'm sure neither will enjoy.
I'm adjusting well (at least I think I am) to being a mother of two. I have to admit that it's hard for me to be at home. Several times a day I have to remind myself of what day of the week it is, since there's not much to distinguish one from another. But I'm happy to have this time with the baby, and BusyBee seems to like her reduced daycare schedule. And I know it will be hard for me to go back to work too.
We haven't had the seismic shift I expected in my last post though - I'd say it's more of a mild aftershock from an earthquake. The second time around is easier in many respects as I feel much more confident as a parent, and our lives are already structured to be kid-friendly. As a bonus, he has such an easy-going personality. BusyBee really adores her little brother and has handled the situation remarkably well. We had some wonderful family support in these first few weeks, which has made things even smoother (thanks again!).
This has been a pretty cheery post, but I still need to take a moment to gush about my son: what a cutie. His blue eyes - if they stay this shade - will make someone fall madly in love with him someday. He's a champ at holding up his head and desperately wants to crawl and move on his own. I think he's going to have Mr. Bee's intensity and intellect, and I can't wait to see what kind of person he will become.
We'll be celebrating by taking him for his one-month pediatrician appointment, as well as having BusyBee go in for her four-year check-up. It should be an interesting hour to say the least. I think both kids will be getting shots, which I'm sure neither will enjoy.
I'm adjusting well (at least I think I am) to being a mother of two. I have to admit that it's hard for me to be at home. Several times a day I have to remind myself of what day of the week it is, since there's not much to distinguish one from another. But I'm happy to have this time with the baby, and BusyBee seems to like her reduced daycare schedule. And I know it will be hard for me to go back to work too.
We haven't had the seismic shift I expected in my last post though - I'd say it's more of a mild aftershock from an earthquake. The second time around is easier in many respects as I feel much more confident as a parent, and our lives are already structured to be kid-friendly. As a bonus, he has such an easy-going personality. BusyBee really adores her little brother and has handled the situation remarkably well. We had some wonderful family support in these first few weeks, which has made things even smoother (thanks again!).
This has been a pretty cheery post, but I still need to take a moment to gush about my son: what a cutie. His blue eyes - if they stay this shade - will make someone fall madly in love with him someday. He's a champ at holding up his head and desperately wants to crawl and move on his own. I think he's going to have Mr. Bee's intensity and intellect, and I can't wait to see what kind of person he will become.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Down to the Wire
I am now 38+ weeks pregnant, and my labor will be induced on Monday, December 31. Assuming everything progresses well, we could get a nice tax deduction in addition to our little BabyBee. Or we could be on the front page of the Globe, with the first baby of the year. Either scenario is not something we're really striving for - the 31st is the supposed "ideal" induction date for me. I am pretty uncomfortable and ready to go. At least, as ready as you can ever be for your world to experience a seismic shift.
The BusyBee's level of excitement has been pretty consistent since we told her those many months ago. She loves babies - every baby she sees is cute to her, even the baby Grinch in the live action "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." I know she will fall right in love with her baby brother, and I am excited to watch that happen. I see how much she loves her father and I, but to think that we can create two human beings that will love each other as well - it's just pretty special.
So the big question we're hearing a lot of: are you ready? The answer is a resounding "sort of." We have a lot of the gear in place, but this time around we're definitely travelling lighter. We're trying to be more reserved and figure out what we will really need, which is something you can't really do until you've been there before. I have a tendency to want to go overboard, but Mr. Bee has kept me in line.
As 2007 comes to a close, I look back on the year and know that we have worked very hard for a lot of the things that are good in our lives. But a baby - I recognize how lucky we are to have gotten to this point. I look forward to sharing some of the experiences of our growing, busy family with you soon.
The BusyBee's level of excitement has been pretty consistent since we told her those many months ago. She loves babies - every baby she sees is cute to her, even the baby Grinch in the live action "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." I know she will fall right in love with her baby brother, and I am excited to watch that happen. I see how much she loves her father and I, but to think that we can create two human beings that will love each other as well - it's just pretty special.
So the big question we're hearing a lot of: are you ready? The answer is a resounding "sort of." We have a lot of the gear in place, but this time around we're definitely travelling lighter. We're trying to be more reserved and figure out what we will really need, which is something you can't really do until you've been there before. I have a tendency to want to go overboard, but Mr. Bee has kept me in line.
As 2007 comes to a close, I look back on the year and know that we have worked very hard for a lot of the things that are good in our lives. But a baby - I recognize how lucky we are to have gotten to this point. I look forward to sharing some of the experiences of our growing, busy family with you soon.
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