The Customer is Always Right (Unless They're a Criminal)

Hey! Thanks those of you who have stopped by from Outlaw Mama's place. She's got quite a nice set up over there, doesn't she? I'm happy you've come by, and for that, I will reward you with another work story, but one with a slightly less-than-happy ending.

You may have read in my bio that I once worked as a bank teller for the now-defunct National City Bank, at their branch in Woodmere, Ohio in the summer of 1998. I was home for a few months between my sophomore and junior years of college, and my mom thought it was a good idea for me to move on from being a summer camp counselor.

(For the record, I was an excellent camp counselor. My group even won the camp color war that prior summer. My daughter Hannah's name was taken from my favorite camper those two summers. But I digress.)

I was pretty excited about being a bank teller, particularly after I sailed through my first week of orientation. Seeing as many of the other tellers were just learning how to use a mouse during our computer training sessions, while my typing skills had been well-honed in many hours of AOL chat rooms term papers, I was sure I could handle anything bank telling could throw at me. I learned how to quickly count money, and that the filing processes actually mirrored the accounting rules I'd studied as an Economics major. The only thing that worried me was the hour we'd spent on firearms identification, in case we were held up at gunpoint and needed to help the police find the bank robbers. I thought that was the worst possible thing I could encounter, and that the likelihood was so low, that I really didn't worry.

And I was right not worry about that - my bank was never held up while I was there - but there was *so* much that no one had ever warned me about. Like the morning when our supervisor, Doug, forgot to post the "all clear" sign in the window after his morning sweep of the premises, and we all feared that he was dead inside the vault. Or the afternoon when we weren't allowed to leave the bank (as my friend impatiently waited to drive me home) when someone's drawer was off by $500, and the guilty teller finally confessed hours later. Or the series of times I'd been check kited.

Per Wikipedia, check kiting is "commonly defined as intentionally writing a check for a value greater than the account balance from an account in one bank, then writing a check from another account in another bank, also with non-sufficient funds, with the second check serving to cover the non-existent funds from the first account." Got that? I certainly didn't. But one of my customers, who appeared to be a plumber, certainly did. He always had tons of checks, which made sense given his line of work, and I'm sure some of them were legitimate, but a few of them were not. He'd always ask for large sums of cash, and my fellow tellers and I could follow our protocols and give him the money without any knowledge of wrongdoing. The checks he brought in always covered the amounts he requested - it was just that the checks were written on fake accounts. Whoops.

I had no idea when Doug called me into his office, after he'd called in two other tellers, that any of this was happening. He interrogated me for over an hour, asking about every tiny detail of my interactions with the customer, who was smart enough not to have been to our branch in weeks. Then Doug finally explained what the heck had gone on for weeks over a large series of transactions, and that I wasn't in any trouble. There was no way I could have known. I still felt awful - part of me still does.

I learned so much that summer, but mostly I learned a lot about respect. Combined with my summers at camp, I learned that people can get pretty worked up about their children and their money. I learned how important it is to provide top-notch customer service whenever possible, and I think that has served me well as I've progressed through my career. Having been on that side of the equation, it also taught me to treat people in customer service roles with respect, too. Being in a service role and doing it well is not easy, and even with some of the bad experiences I had, I'm so glad that I got that critical training. And all these years later, I still think of the experience fondly every time I take out my own - legitimate - checkbook. 

image credit

The Having It All Project: Kristopher Denio

Today's guest poster, Kristopher Denio, made his way here through my dear friend Ana. She thought he might have an interesting perspective to offer, and I have to agree (just check out those feet practically jumping off your screen above - that's some perspective! ;) ). Do you have a friend to suggest to me? Share this post with them, and let's get that ball rolling. Here's how Kristopher is having it all.

Briefly describe your life and what you think makes it unique.
I've enjoyed a life as a software engineer, teacher, animator, industrial pest control technician (we don't like to talk about that), and entrepreneur.  Two years and four months ago, the day our twins were born, I voluntarily quit my job to be a full-time, stay-at-home dad.  I qualify my position as "voluntary" to differentiate myself from the men profiled in the multitude of articles detailing the rise of Mr. Mom (I despise the term.  Darn you, Michael Keaton and your likable, everyman charm!) where you invariably find out that the fellow in question was out of work to begin with or his partner's salary was considerably greater than his--basically, that the decision to stay home just made sense.  Not to disparage those people or their choices.  The world could use more logic-based decision-making, and I applaud anyone who acts contrary to societal norms for the good of their family.  But I'd like to offer the theory that it's OK for a dad to want to stay home with his kids, even when it doesn't necessarily make the most sense.

What are some of your favorite tips and strategies for coping with the chaos?
Laughing.  Crying.  Reminding myself that I'll look back on this period fondly.  Two fingers of bourbon after everyone is safely tucked in bed.  (OK, maybe three.)

I assume it's not much different with singletons--though I don't know, as my wife and I apparently reproduce geometrically--but chaos is unavoidable with twins.  It's best to just embrace it.  And if everyone comes out the other side healthy, happy, and with most digits intact, know you've done a good job.

Please share a moment where it all broke down, and how you got through it.
When I first volunteered to participate in this project, I wasn't sure what moment to share.  It sometimes feels like it all breaks down at least once a day.  But recently, I was afforded some perspective.

Two years with a single breadwinner takes its toll on family savings and available credit.  So, a few months ago, my wife and I decided that it was necessary for me to return to work.  Besides, the kids were outpacing me intellectually and could benefit from preschool.  I somehow found a job that seemed to be custom tailored to my unique background and weaseled my way into getting hired, the only concern being the hour commute, each way.  I'd dealt with long commutes before, so I figured it'd be fine.  I've never been more wrong in my entire life.  

I knew I'd be sad to leave the kids.  I didn't expect to be hiding in the bathroom, bawling like a child, on my first day of work.  I certainly didn't expect to be continuing that behavior three days into my new job.  The long commute had me leaving for work before our kids woke up and returning home shortly before they went to bed.  I went from spending every minute of every day with our children, to only getting an hour with them during their crankiest time of the day, and it was breaking my heart.  By the end of the first week, it was apparent I'd made a horrible mistake.  I informed my boss that for the sake of my family, and my sanity, I had to quit.

This was a gut wrenching decision.  I'd made a commitment to my new employer, and I take my commitments very seriously, but our kids will only want to follow dad around for so long before friends and school and life beyond our little family begin to steal their time and attention.  I refuse to miss it.  The cliche is that everything changes when you have children.  I'm still adjusting to my new priorities.

Luckily (and luck plays no small part in my life), my boss respected my priorities and my choice to honor them.  She quickly concocted a solution--for me to serve as an independent contractor, working from home--and championed it to her superiors.  And so, in the blink of an eye, the worst decision I'd ever made turned into an incredible opportunity that wouldn't have been available otherwise (did I mention luck?).

Do you have any balance role models?  Anything you try to avoid because it wouldn't work for you?
I have friends whom I respect, and I admire the choices they've made for their families, but everyone's situation, and their definition of what "having it all" means is so different, it would be very difficult to see anyone as a role model in that regard.

We try to avoid over-scheduling and over-planning.  The kids have promised us that nothing will ever go as planned ever again, so the more flexible we can be, the better.  Oh, and hour-long commutes are now off the list.

Think back to your 18th birthday.  How is your life different from how you expected it to be then?
I'm not sure my life is all that different from what I expected.  I've never been one to plan the minute details of my life.  Instead, I prefer to lay out some broad strokes I'd like to see happen and play the rest by ear.  When I was 18, the broad strokes were: 1) I wanted to marry my girlfriend--we'd been dating since we were 15,  2) I wanted an interesting life full of adventure, 3) I wanted a motorcycle, and 4) when I eventually had kids, I wanted to stay at home with them.  All of those things happened, though the motorcycle was sold shortly after the kids were born.  So, there's that.

Relate to what Kristopher is saying? Leave him some love in the comments. Read other posts from The Having It All Project here. Want to participate? Send me an email at havingitallproject@gmail.com!

My 10th Mother's Day

So it's Mother's Day, and this is in fact my 10th time celebrating this day as a mom. I think I've finally figured it out though, as today (well, really, this weekend) has been a really good balance of time.

On Friday night, I went to the third annual Pivot event, this time focusing on finding a personal style. Before I left, I took the picture above, as I was wearing both my first and my tenth Mother's Day presents. I bought that denim jacket back in 2004, on a much anticipated excursion to the mall with four month old Hannah. I vividly remember trying to figure out how to manage her needs while I tried to satisfy my own. I debated whether or not to buy the jacket - it's not quite perfect - but seeing as I'm still wearing it 10 years later, I guess it was the right choice. My gift this year is that colorful necklace above - I've decided that a new element to my "personal style" is to find simpler clothing to pair with gorgeous jewelry. Sounds like a good plan, right? So anyway, I got some time on my own on Friday.

Then last night, I got some time alone with Marc as we went to see "The Great Gatsby." When we were dating, we saw the Baz Luhrmann movie "Moulin Rouge," and our wedding song was taken from that, so I had a feeling we'd enjoy this one, and we did. It was the first time Max was totally fine with being left with a babysitter - usually I get a lot of tears and "no you stay home and be my babysitter!" It was nice to just go out without a complicated plan and or nagging guilt from Max.

This morning I was told to skip Zumba so that I could be treated to breakfast in bed, and it truly was a treat. My favorite bagel and cream cheese, iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts, and Twizzlers. :) Hannah also made me a landyard bracelet in my favorite color, and brought home adorable projects from school. I expect more from Max tomorrow, since he was home sick on Friday. Max and I got to spend some quality time together this morning, and Hannah and I got our own version this afternoon. And now I've had time to write this, and that brings me so much joy too.

Mother's Day can be a spring season New Year's Eve - so much anticipation and expectation wrapped up in one day. You go out to eat and the restaurant is surprisingly uncooperative for kids when they marketed a Mother's Day brunch. Your kid gets pink eye. You miss your mom. You long for the children you don't have. You feel less-than-perfect. You feel under-appreciated too often during the rest of the year to enjoy the day.

I know how lucky I am to have had a good one this year. I am so grateful, that I honestly don't mind the dishes I'm about to do. I feel loved this year, and I really appreciate it.

Wishing a happy Mother's Day to moms in all their forms. I hope you feel appreciated too.

The Having It All Project: Audrey Beerman

I met Audrey through Julie somewhere along the way...so this is probably the second participant to The Having It All Project that she didn't know she was leading me to back when we met in 1996. Audrey's a new mom figuring out how to balance all the different roles in her life - something many of us are balancing on this Mother's Day weekend. Happy Mother's Day to all of you. Here's how Audrey is having it all.

Briefly describe your life and what you think makes it unique.
Although Margaret Mead probably isn't to credit for this quotation, I giggle at "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." Lately I derive considerable comfort from that! I'm a daughter, a wife, a stay-at-home-mom, an aunt, a daughter-/ granddaughter-/ sister-/ niece-in-law, a Chief Marketing Officer, a sorority sister, a volunteer, a true friend, … so you know, I'm unique, just like each of us is unique! In stark contrast to my "past lives," though, I'm a member not the leader.

What are some of your favorite tips and strategies for coping with the chaos? 
Nuts and bolts: My husband and I run our lives on a carefully curated suite of Google products (Gmail, Calendar, Drive), and I love Evernote too. Thanks to apps for eBay, Amazon Prime, and FreshDirect, I do 90%+ of our family's shopping from my phone. Near-debilitating OCD is a beautiful thing - if only it were contagious!

More philosophical: I attempt to avoid and / or eliminate as much chaos as possible. This may seem basic, but I'm not someone whose life is naturally drama-free, and thus it requires consistent, conscientious effort on my part. Sometimes this is as simple as saying "no" which should be easier than it is. Although I don't completely disregard social niceties and legitimate obligations, I do say no to lots of things "the old me" would've done begrudgingly and / or by incurring epic stress, ranging from joining committees to making weekend plans. Along those lines, I no longer waste time attempting to cultivate / repair / continue relationships with people who are not worthy; I don't have arrogant delusions of these individuals pining away for me, but I'm not interested in teaching anyone how to be a good friend.

Being a stay-at-home-mom is extremely weird for me; in the beginning, on some days, the only adults with whom I interacted were our doorman and our parking lot attendant. Now we go on more "adventures" including spontaneous outings and as a recovering Type A, giving up my routine was really challenging. To feel human, I make sure that each morning, I take a shower and get dressed, even if Ari and I are just spending the day rolling around on the playmat. Sometimes I have a sitter come for a few hours so I can be on my own, and I don't feel guilty about it, because I know I'm a better mom if I can have some "me" time too.

Please share a moment where it all broke down, and how you got through it. 
In November 2009, my then-boyfriend Hal asked my father for my hand in marriage. A few weeks later, my father was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer, and given only a few months to live. I still do not fully understand how I survived the 117 days between hearing the prognosis and delivering his eulogy, but in that time, Hal proposed to me and we planned, then had, a beautiful wedding with the people we love most, and my dad was there to walk me down the aisle. To say "it all broke down" is a colossal understatement.

I got through it because I am blessed to have the best people on earth. My people - my friends who are my family - are the most loyal, thoughtful, generous people in the world. They are insane in their devotion and selflessness. This is what friendship is supposed to be, in my mind; my parents raised me this way and I pray that I live up to their standards. When Hal witnessed the outpouring of love and support, he understood me a lot better, and now he gets why my definition of family includes far more than people who are technically our relatives. "Having it all" means different things to different people, but I truly believe that having my people in my corner means I've got everything.

Do you have any balance role models? Anything you try to avoid because it wouldn't work for you? 
I've learned a lot from my own mistakes so I try to use "past me" to avoid making them again. Over the years I have been blessed to interact with many painfully efficient, impressive individuals and I've taken notes on their best practices and try to incorporate them into my everyday. For instance, about 15 years ago my rabbi, Loel Weiss, taught me that he attempts to avoid letting things pile up on his desk. If something is due in a week, for instance, and it's going to take five focused minutes to do, he gives it his attention immediately so he doesn't have to add it to his to-do list and think about it later - it gets done, and it gets done right, and it's done! It sounds simple but it has saved me a lot of stress. I also loved Lean In and agree that "Done is better than perfect" - and it doesn't mean settling, it means being realistic.

Since I'm still adjusting to my new role as mother, I try to avoid making too many rules for myself. Being flexible is becoming easier.

Think back to your 18th birthday. How is your life different from how you expected it to be then?
When I was 18, I had two parents I thought would live forever, and two best friends who were like siblings to me. I assumed I'd be super-involved in the Jewish community forever and eventually make aliyah. While I've always wanted to be a mother, I didn't expect to be a stay-at-home parent. Since then, my dad died and those two best friends dumped me. Although I would love to visit Israel again, I have no plans to move there, and after an eight-year absence from the Jewish community, I am only now beginning to find my place in vibrant, Jewish life. Having earned three degrees, it is strange not to be employed outside the home.

Part of me cannot believe that any of this is really happening. I have a healthy, happy son who blows my mind and breaks my heart every single day. I have a compassionate, hilarious husband who I fall asleep next to, laughing!, every night. We live in a beautiful apartment and pay several thousand dollars below market which in New York City is probably a bigger accomplishment than the spouse or kid! I FaceTime with my mom every single day so she can see her grandson and we take long weekend field trips to visit her in my native Boston. As above, I am surrounded by the greatest people, for which I feel lucky all the time. And despite all this, sometimes I cry because I miss my dad so much. So, so much. Life is nothing like what I expected it to be, but I'm nothing like I expected to be, and although there is always room for improvement, I count my blessings and am genuinely grateful. As Asha Tyson wrote, “Your journey has molded you for the greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think that you've lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.”

Relate to what Audrey is saying? Leave her some love in the comments. Read other posts from The Having It All Project here. Want to participate? Send me an email at havingitallproject@gmail.com!

A Wrap Up and a Plea

So unless you spent last week living under a rock, I was the Boston.com Moms Featured Parent Blogger. It was an interesting experiment for me. I hoped to gain some new readers here, and I did have my highest-ever traffic to the blog on the day my picture and links were up on the Boston.com homepage. It was challenging to answer all of the questions that the Boston Globe host asked me, as well as those of you who took the time to also post your questions (thank you friends!). I think I did a pretty good job reflecting my vision for this space and the types of things I like to write about, and on the whole it was a great experience.

The cons? Wow, I did not like seeing my face everywhere. It made me very self conscious, especially because the day I appeared on Boston.com I was home sick with an awful stomach bug. I also didn't like the pressure to have to write every day. There's a reason I'm not a daily blogger (well, multiple reasons, named Hannah, Max and MY JOB). I was able to write most of it in advance in the evenings before the posts came up, so I made it work, but I've never wanted additional deadlines on my writing, and it did cause some anxiety for me. But I'm glad I rose to the challenge, and the links to each of the daily forums are below.

Monday: Introduction
Tuesday: 20 Facts
Wednesday: My favorite post
Thursday: Questions from the community
Friday: Other favorite bloggers

And since I've been asked this a lot: not a single person from work said anything about seeing me on Boston.com. I have a hard time believing that no one noticed it, but no one has admitted it to me. That's fine by me - it's not like blogging is everyone's cup of tea - but there hasn't been a conflict between my blog and work so far because no one seems to care. And while I do occasionally attend to something blog-related at work, I also occasionally (okay, fairly often) attend to something work-related at home, so it all works out.

Now to the plea part of this post. For the past 18 weeks, I've tried to present a wide variety of viewpoints in The Having It All Project. Participants have been asked to write their post by me, or found their way to me by friends, but all are volunteers. Eighteen participants is by no means statistically significant (oops, my MBA is showing!), and cannot possibly represent the wide range of humans who are trying to "have it all." And A LOT of people hate those words, and would never consider writing about the topic. Indeed, many people have rejected my request to write too. Despite the fact that I make no claims of being perfect, I've twice received the criticism that a certain (differing) viewpoint hasn't been covered.

So here's the deal: if you think something is missing here, WRITE IT. Not today, not even tomorrow, but if you want a voice to be represented, I need you to help me do it. It can be anonymous - no pictures, no links, no identifying details at all. But I don't want your complaints about it. Please trust that I am promoting the heck out of this thing (again, within the confinements of Hannah, Max and MY JOB, plus the fact that I earn no money here), but if you see a niche not filled, help me fill it instead of complaining about it. I'm glad you're all invested in this blog, it really does mean the world to me, but my traffic here is so ridiculously low that I'm not willing to take the criticism from those who won't support me too. So thank you in advance for your help.

And for those of you who like what I'm doing, I really do appreciate it. Keep sharing what you like and what resonates with you. I really believe that some day, this could become something, even if I still don't know what that something is yet, and I am glad you're on this journey with me.

The Having It All Project: Nanette Fridman

Nanette and her family moved to our area a couple of years ago, and I cannot begin to tell you what a gain it has been for Newton. Fundamentally, Nanette is a connector. She wants to know your entire life story within minutes of meeting you, and she just might know how to improve your life going forward. Here's how Nanette is having it all.

Briefly describe your life and what you think makes it unique.

I have two amazing kids, a 6 year old daughter and a 10 year old son, and a wonderful husband. I started my own business six years ago providing strategic planning, training and coaching to nonprofit organizations (and the blog). Because my clients range in size, location and mission and each has various needs and projects, every single day is different which I absolutely love.

My path to getting to this point is interesting. After college, I worked as a grass-roots organizer in Washington, DC while getting my Master's in Public Policy at Georgetown and then continued on for a law degree. After graduation, I took a job at a large Boston law firm to be closer to my family. My son was born prematurely so I abruptly left my job at as corporate lawyer in 2003 and never returned.

After three years as a stay at home mom and full time unpaid volunteer, I was ready to go back to work. After much contemplation, interviewing many women about their work-life balance, and a lot of encouragement from my husband, I decided to switch gears and open my own consulting practice.

 

My schedule is somewhat unique. Basically, I work around my kids schedule except when I am traveling. On a typical day, I work from 6:00 am to 7:00 am, 8:30 am to 3 pm and then from 8:00 pm to 10:00 pm. From 3:00 -8:00 pm, I am with my kids (unless I am on deadline to finish something or am squeezing in a conference call)! 

 

What are some of your favorite tips and strategies for coping with the chaos?

Tip number one, be organized. Lists and folders are my friends.My lists are by time and date and by subject (and sometimes cross-referenced). I schedule and plan ahead everything that I possibly can. My friends joke that I am booking Saturday night dinners into 2014. My husband and I hold regular calendar meetings and invite each other to our evening and weekend meetings that impact our shared time via our electronic calendars. 

 
Tip number two, adopt rituals and routines as a family.We wake up basically at the same time every day. Clothes are laid out the night before. When my kids get home from school, backpacks go in the same place, homework folders come out and the kids unpack their lunch boxes and put them on the kitchen counter.  We have separate bags for karate, religious school, baseball etc. Each child is responsible (with help) for the checklist of items that they need in their activity bags. Bedtime rituals are very important both for the kids and us.  We aim for the same bedtime window of time every night. This allows me to time to respond to emails that come in during the late afternoon and early evening and time to work before I watch my escape tv or spend time with my husband.

There are three things that really help me cope with the chaos. The first is a great family and friends. Everything is better when you can talk about it, complain about it and most importantly, laugh about it with someone who loves you. The second is Shabbat. Every Friday night, we have a special dinner, usually with family or friends, marking the beginning of the Jewish Sabbath. This really a chance for us to catch up with each other, enjoy a slower pace and relax. We all look forward to Friday night and sharing our "WOW of the Week". The third strategy is one that I just started this year and that is my Pilates practice. Deep breathing is fundamental to Pilates and remembering to breath deeply is helpful to handling the inevitable stress and chaos that comes from having two working parents with outside interests and hobbies, two active kids, community involvement and lots of friends and family around.

Please share a moment where it all broke down, and how you got through it.

A couple weeks ago we were going on vacation and our flight was very early. The car service was picking us up at 5 am. To save time in the morning, I decided to shower the kids the night before and to put them to sleep early and in their clothes for the next day. After a few hours of sleep, my daughter woke me up and she had gotten sick all over her bed and proceeded to vomit the rest of the night and morning (including in line to check in our luggage at the airport). Needless to say, I didn't sleep at all and instead did laundry and checked on my daughter the entire night. All my best efforts to plan didn't mean much. I actually took it in stride and did a lot of deep breathing. I was very grateful that it wasn't a serious illness (she was really a trooper and happy despite being sick) and as a reminder to myself that I can't control life! Things happen! Luckily it was a 12 hour bug and by the time we landed, my daughter was ready for lunch.

Do you have any balance role models? Anything you try to avoid because it wouldn't work for you?

I have a lot of friends whom I really admire for their work-life balance. Recently inspired by the high-profile dialogue on work-life balance by Anne-Marie Slaughter, Marissa Mayer and Sheryl Sandberg, we have formed a group that is meeting regularly to talk about these issues. Our primary goals are to support, encourage and learn from each other. Most of the women in the group are much better at delegating than I am in the personal sphere.

I have avoided several professional and personal opportunities because they would have required my delegating more childcare than I was comfortable with at the time. I am grateful to have had the choice and am trying to get more comfortable with delegating.

Think back to your 18th birthday. How is your life different from how you expected it to be then?

Since I was a teenager, I was always drawn internationally. I expected to be a lawyer and involved in politics. My first email account was nan2012@aol.com because I thought that I better reserve that email address for my anticipated campaign. 2012 has come and gone, and I am currently a non-practicing lawyer. However, I haven't run for office - yet. My husband is originally from Mexico so I guess I fulfilled the international piece!  

 

When I was younger, I wanted a full life which to me meant exciting work, a loving husband and kids and a buzzing house! Be careful what you wish for! All joking aside, I feel that I have crafted a very full life that is busy by design, just the way I like it.

Relate to what Nanete is saying? Leave her some love in the comments. Read other posts from The Having It All Project here. Want to participate? Send me an email at havingitallproject@gmail.com!

Remember the Facebook Meme 25 Things?

In honor of the 20 Things I'm posting over on Boston.com Moms today, I thought back to the Facebook meme that was popular back in 2009. With some slight changes, I posted (most of) the below on January 28, 2009, and have added in some current reflections on how well it all holds up. I highly recommend this exercise!

1. My brother Ryan is one of my best friends. I'm incredibly proud of the person he has become and all that he has accomplished, and he's helped my life in many Google-influenced ways.

2. As a kid, I was obsessed with Cabbage Patch Kids. I vividly remember receiving my first and last ones, and the time I got my first set of straight A's and picked out Cabbage Patch Twins.

3. Goldman Union Camp Institute, GUCI, was my home for 5 summers. I loved that place and would go back tomorrow if I could. It had a huge impact on my Jewish identity, and I hope my kids will go to Jewish overnight camp some day. (Hannah went last summer!)

4. My favorite year, despite Algebra, was 8th grade. I had so much fun hanging out with Jen, Marc and Robbie in Mr. Guiliani's choir room during lunch each day.

5. I can be intensely claustrophobic, especially in caves. I discovered that fear during a trip to Israel with my family in 1994, as we tried to make our way through some tunnels dug by the Crusaders. So not for me!

6. One of my biggest regrets, though I had no control over it, was that I never made it into the SHS Show Choir. However, I don't regret my decision not to even try out for it senior year.

7. Part of the reason I don't regret that is that I was N'siah of Chaia BBG #220 (president of my youth group chapter). I still remember the first meeting I led, and how nervous I was.

8. My freshman year dorm room at Brandeis University had a ton of overnight guests (no, not that kind!), such that it was dubbed "Motel 317." I miss being with the various iterations of "The Management" - Carol, Julie, Mike, Aviva, Julia - everyday.

9. Sophomore year I lived in a castle on campus. I was a proud Jewish American Princess.

10. I also became "the email girl" that year as I instituted Brandeis Hillel's first email list for upcoming events. It was sent from my personal account then - how quaint it seems now.

11. I believe it is crucial that people work in a customer service capacity at some point in their lives. I spent a summer in college as a bank teller, and learned a tremendous amount - especially about check kiting.

12. I also regret not studying abroad my junior year. I always thought there would be time later, but I've still never been anywhere in Europe. I think it's a part of my development that is really lacking now. (At least I've now had Paris!)

13. I met my future husband, Marc, via AOL Instant Messenger in the fall of my senior year of college. My screenname was LilMisBusy, and I still use that for my blog. I knew I'd marry him on our second date, when he said he liked the name "Hannah" as we watched the movie "Playing By Heart." This year is the 10th we've spent together. (Plus 4)

14. I got my MBA from Boston University for free, as my two employers paid for it as a benefit. Ah, how I miss the boom times. I still have undergraduate loans to pay off though. (Still true)

15. I got pregnant with Hannah after my first semester at BU, and was pregnant with Max when I ended the program four and a half years later. It took a long time to do, but I'm glad I did it.

16. The best class I took during my MBA program was on decision-making and the biases we employ when making decisions. All the time now, I stop and think about how biased I can be - and yet I usually don't change anything.

17. I had a miscarriage in December 2007. It was a very isolating and traumatic experience, and I wish people talked more about miscarriage so that you don't feel so alone when you're going through it. And I've wanted to put that in writing somewhere for a long time now.

18. A few weeks later the job posting went up for the job I have now. I wouldn't have gone for it if I was pregnant, so I think it was a blessing in disguise. My title is Vice President, Bank Loan Product Associate (I checked my business card for that!). I could tell you what I do, but it really changes everyday. We tell Hannah that I keep track of people's money. It's somewhat accurate. (Well, at least they call me "analyst" now.)

19. I have apple martini green counter tops in my kitchen. When we bought our house, the kitchen was a total disaster, so we demolished it and had it completely redone. I am proud that I picked out most of the items we used, and love that Marc designed such a perfect space for us.

20. I read a ton of blogs, particularly parenting blogs. Google Reader is my friend. I wish I had more time to spend on my own blog, lilmisbusy.blogspot.com. (It's feeling very time capsule-y in here! And wah! Goodbye, Google Reader.)

21. I believe in retail therapy. One of the hardest adjustments after becoming a parent was that I couldn't cure a bad day by shopping for myself after work. I wish I could shop way, way more than I actually do. (I still struggle with that idea!)

22. I'm insecure about my age (though I don't mind admitting it - 31). I'm a young mom, and young to be so far in my career too. I'm also very bad at guessing how old other people are. (All still true, four years later I'm still always feeling too young.)

23. I'm addicted to Gossip Girl and The Real Housewives of Orange County. So different, and yet so much the same. (Still true, with tweet to prove it.)

24. I could eat chicken fingers alone for the rest of my life. (YEP.)

25. I like to look forward to things. If I don't have a big event coming up on my calendar, I get depressed. So some of you - and you know who you are - get engaged, get married, have babies, invite me to something. I'm getting impatient over here! (So what are you waiting for?)