Thursday, August 27, 2015

Blank Space

I'm in need of a little space lately. Unlike TSwift, there is no blank space in my life, or so it seems.

It's week 18 of our renovation, and while I have absolutely nothing to complain about, I'm so ready for it to be over. Thankfully, it almost is. We're close, probably a week or so away with most of it being done. But since Hannah got home from camp, Marc and I have had to share our bedroom with her. During waking hours, Max is almost always in our room too. We have people in the house generally from 7 am to 6 pm, so no one is ever alone even if the kids are away. The house will be put back together soon, but for now, no space.

I'm lacking space at work too; mostly just the mental space to stop thinking about work. I'm still very happy in the role I took on nearly two years ago, but wow does it take up a lot more mental space. I find myself thinking about various aspects of what I'm working on at all hours of the day, including the middle of the night. Not stressed out panicked thoughts, but reasoning through some issue or planning ahead for a meeting. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, because I like doing well at work, but an interesting development for me.

When I'm not thinking about work, I'm thinking about the kids and the transition back to school. Middle school for Hannah--a big deal, yes, but I know she'll handle it well. Second grade for Max--fewer adjustments, but still, a new schedule with more religious school and the music lessons he's been wanting for years. The high holidays will be here in a moment, and I haven't really done much school shopping for the kids, and I don't know when I will. This summer almost feels like it didn't happen, like I was in this weird temporary state, holding pattern.

I wish I had more blank space for writing, without feeling like I've said it all already and there's nothing left to say.

In a way, I'm ready to get to fall. I'm ready for a return to structure and routine and to enjoy the new parts of our house. Maybe I'll find some space then.


  1. I feel exactly the same way. A holding pattern. I find myself saying, "When I get back from vacation", "when school starts", after we drop the twins at college". It's a little bittersweet because while I don't want them all to go, I need them to go so I can get back to a routine. You are in the homestretch with the renovation, so that is good. Except for the dust…..oh the dust….

    1. Thanks Ashley. Yes, I think it's a hard time of year, with all of these "when's" and "just's." Especially when so many people are back at school and we've got another week and a half to go!