Obviously I, of all people, get being busy. It is the name of the blog, after all. I say no sometimes too. No, I can't volunteer at the class Valentine's Day party. No, I can't squeeze that class in right now, given my commitment to Listen To Your Mother Boston. But when it's an individual asking me to do an individual task for that direct person? I try really hard to say yes, to find a pocket of time. So being rejected by those people, mainly strangers with blogs that are more successful than mine, really stung.
The sting hurts most when I see those same people lamenting a seemingly golden age of social media, that they say no longer exists. When everyone knew everyone, and blog comments were easy to come by, and conferences were small and you met your best friend and you got your next business deal or book deal just by being in the right place at the right time. I feel a bit late to the party, and I'm jealous.
I also know that this space will always be last place on my list, behind everything else that's important in my life, and it stinks knowing my last place efforts will mean that it never really has time to become something more. But it did bring me to Listen To Your Mother, and I sit in awe that Jessica, Phyllis and I have been entrusted with this amazing gift and these important stories. And I know that I'm always drawn back to writing here, always starting posts even if they remain unfinished, always filtering my life and experiences through this lens.
Maybe it's just the harshness of this winter. Or it's the boredom of spending too much time inside with semi-sickness and snow. Or not having enough to look forward to. Whatever it is, I'll come back, eventually. I always do.
|Max's Valentine's Day creation|