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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Pain Fest 2010

On February 13, I put my son into his car seat. Given my long-term struggle with back and leg pain, it's not something I do terribly often, but I was anxious to get on the road to start a weekend trip away. I was tired and hungry, and I just wanted to GO.

And it sent a searing pain down my left leg, and I have not recovered since.

After a new MRI I was diagnosed with a second herniated disc, and the first one, which I thought had gotten mostly better, was determined to actually be worse. So now I have one on each side of my back, affecting nerves running down my legs, and I can no longer walk or sit without pain. Lots and lots and lots of pain.

Other than a few disastrous attempts at going in to the office, I have only left my house for doctor visits, and recently, to see a chiropractor. I have missed a tremendous amount of time and activities with my family and friends. Fortunately, I am able to work from home, and have been saving my best efforts to focus on my job.

I've been wanting to write an entry here, but I've been stuck on exactly what to say. This blog has always been about how busy I am - it is the name, after all - and technically, things have been busy. Just not for me. Marc has worked like crazy to keep things going for the kids and the house, and he has done more laundry and dishes in the last few weeks than he has done in the last few years. He has had to drive me everywhere and come along to every appointment. The kids have still been going to school and temple, out to birthday parties and restaurants. But I have been home, mostly in my bedroom. *I* have not been busy.

But in the midst of this lousy experience, there have been some wonderful things. I have an awesome extended family that has been helping out in so many ways, and I am extremely grateful for that. I have friends who have sent flowers, brought food, or just came by or called to chat. People have driven Hannah around when our family needed to be two places at once, and one of those places was not my bedroom. It has been amazing to see this community I've built try to rally around me, even though I am not very good at accepting help.

I am still in the process of figuring out what will happen next, but some kind of surgery is likely. I feel so fortunate to have health insurance and access to very good medical care so that I can face this dilemma without additional worry. I hope to be back on my feet again soon, so that I can get back to the busy life I want to be living.