A Post Just to Post

I haven't felt like writing much here lately. Well, that's not entirely true, as I've written about things and haven't posted them. I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to say about this and this and most definitely this controversy, but would love to hear your thoughts on any and all of those topics, if you feel like clicking through to the links. But in the meantime, here's a bit of a January update.

The kids both really enjoyed their birthdays. Hannah had another Sleep Under, which this year was timed to coincide with the series finale of one of her favorite shows, "The Wizards of Waverly Place." Max's party was a couple of days later, at the amazing Kid's Street, and he seemed to really enjoy it. They both started new classes as well; Hannah is doing rock climbing, and Max is doing gymnastics and swimming (though he doesn't seem a big fan of the swimming class). Max has also completely given up his nap, which has made life a little more interesting lately.

The Temple Emanuel Share a Shabbat registrations have been rolling in, and it's been fun answering questions and facilitating the program. I've sent some emails akin to secret admirer notes asking people to sign up if they'd been requested by others as possible matches. It feels like I'm getting to know everyone a little better. We have our match-making meeting next weekend, and I'm excited to hear how all of the dinners go.

This weekend I've been home alone with the kids while Marc took a trip to Little Rock to visit Rachel, Jon, Nate and Evie. Shockingly, we didn't get the major snow storm that I was predicting to happen while he was away. I took a day off on Friday and treated myself to some shopping and to the movie "The Descendants." We've been having a nice little weekend, just the three of us, but we're also ready for Marc to get back too.

Anyway, this is just a post in order to get posting again. Maybe February will be more worth writing about.

Sunday Mornings

Ah, Sunday mornings. The time for laziness and recovering from Saturday night's fun. But if you know anything about me at all, you know I'm not into the whole laziness thing, it's just not my style. And so even if I've had a fun night out on Saturday (like last night - thanks Nanette and Jose!), I'm still up early and enjoying my Sunday morning ritual.

If we're in town, I almost always start my Sunday with a trip to Rosenfeld's Bagels, followed up by a stop at Dunkin' Donuts. I buy everyone's favorite bagels (plain for the kids, onion for Marc, and caraway seed for me), and if I'm feeling decadent, their Boursin cream cheese (something I'm indulging in less often these days). Then it's time to cross Newton Centre to pick up an iced coffee for me, and one for Marc that varies with the season. On the radio I try to catch a bit of Mix 104.1's Acoustic Sunrise. I enjoy this time driving on nearly empty streets, save for the lone police cruiser I usually see on Centre Street. Often, it's the only true "alone time" I have all weekend.

After getting everyone settled in with their breakfast, I try to spend a few minutes with the Boston Globe Sunday magazine, but it usually takes me several attempts throughout the day to actually read it all. Hannah needs to be at religious school by 9 o'clock, and so the minutes slip past all too quickly until it's time to get her there.

The rest of the morning, when not spent at Temple Emanuel for some event, is spent changing sheets, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and spending some one-on-one time with Max while his big sister is at school. Though I must admit that I'm looking forward to a year and a half from now when he's in religious school at the same time, and Marc and I will have a solid two and a half hours without the kids around.

So what's your Sunday morning routine? Or do you try to change it up?

Eight

Today, Hannah Ruth, you are turning eight.

Daddy often chides me for making you and your brother older than you are, when I spend the last few months before your birthday rounding up. But I feel like you really are going to inhabit this age well, and eight looks good on you. Particularly this new "with glasses" version of you.

I asked if you remembered me writing you a letter for your seventh birthday, and you encouraged me to do it again. Your own writing has really blossomed this year, and I think you see already see the value in me doing this for you. When asked to write a letter to your new teachers about your summer vacation, you wrote on for several pages. I'd like to think you get that from me.

You loved finding the collection of padlocks people have left along a bridge on the River Seine, and I can see you going back some day to place your own. You looked like Shirley Temple after getting your hair done at a salon for the first time before your last spin as a flower girl. You were a royal window washer. You sewed, karate-kicked, swam, played piano and learned to read Hebrew. You broke your first bone, and stunned me by choosing a bright green cast (the better for which to display signatures). You made a really grown up decision in choosing to spend two weeks at overnight camp this coming summer.

You continue to be a loyal friend to many, nurturing some friendships for years now. You have really hit your stride at Bowen Elementary, and continue to astonish me with the things you're learning there. You are very well-loved by a great number of adults, particularly evidenced by your celebrity status as you walk the halls of the JCC, and by one of the ushers at Temple Emanuel who has a great affinity for you. And though he can get annoying, your brother is still your very best friend.

You are growing up so fast, and yet it's hard for me not to rush you. I love our talks, and though I may roll my eyes at it, I secretly love every time you say, "I have a question." I hope you have lots of wonderful adventures in the next year. I love you, kid.

2011 In Pictures

Yea, I'm a couple of days late, but here's the traditional year in review blog post. As far as years go, 2011 was a pretty good one. I remember wanting 2010 to just end already for most of last December, but I didn't feel that way about 2011. I got to see my parents three times this year, traveled to Europe for the first time, made great strides at work, and was generally healthy and happy.

I'm not big on resolutions, but I do have a goal for 2012: to spend less time on the wrong people. There are a lot of wonderful people in my life, and I'm going to focus more on them instead.

Here's a month by month selection of some of my favorite photos over the last year. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season, and wish you all the best for the year ahead!

January



February



March



April



May



June



July



August



September



October



November



December



Happy 2012!

Four

Today, Max Benjamin, you are turning four.

Oh, how you've waited for this day! Your silly Mama (the name you prefer) told you that your birthday was after Hanukkah, and it just couldn't get here fast enough. Four is pretty big, at least in your mind. I think you've decided that mostly on the basis that when you turn four, you get to eat two gummy vitamins instead of one each morning. Such a big accomplishment.

I feel like I've been waiting for you to be four for a long time too. There is nothing better than when you are sweet and loving, funny and curious, but you still have your difficult moments. You are a boundary pusher and fiercely independent - both wonderful qualities - unless you're doing something we'd prefer you not to do. I know you're working on it every day though, and I would safely wager that at five you will have a much better handle on your world.

Nonetheless, three was quite a year. Not many three year old's can claim such a love for the Eiffel Tower, but it made a huge impression on you. I don't think you actually remember that you threw a 45 minute tantrum at the top of it, but I know Daddy, Hannah and I will ever forget it. You enjoyed going to the Temple Emanuel Family Retreat ("New Hampshire!") and trying to keep up with Hannah and her friends. You loved getting to play in the street during our neighborhood block party. When the big moment arrived, you did a wonderful job walking down the aisle as ring bearer for Uncle Ryan and Aunt Allison, even if you didn't want to take any decent pictures the rest of the day. You went to birthday parties and play dates, concerts and museums, but what you love most is to stay home and play all day.

You still love Yo Gabba Gabba and dressed as Wyatt from Super Why for Halloween. You got a new guitar for Hanukkah, and someday I hope you will appreciate how much love I must have had for you to buy a newly four year old a drum kit. But without it, how would you get to take your imaginary band to perform on stage in New York City? (Maybe this year we'll actually take you there.) Blanket has survived another year as your most treasured possession, but that may soon change. You made a whole group of new friends this year, but I can still say that your sister is your very best friend.

This should be a great year for you. You're going to try swimming lessons and gymnastics, and I think you will enjoy getting to be among the biggest kids at the JCC. You love letters, and I think reading and writing are not far off. But whatever comes next, I know you will greet it with great enthusiasm. I am so lucky to be your Mama, and I love you, buddy.

The Crash

So, the car accident. I've been trying to find a way to write about it for the past two weeks since it happened, and it just wasn't coming to me. I don't want to write about the specifics, though I am incredibly grateful that we all came out of it mostly unharmed. I don't want to talk about how getting in an accident was one of my biggest fears in life, and how I was an emotional mess for a good week afterward. I don't want to talk about the stress of dealing with the car repairs and insurance.

And it finally dawned on me that what I do want to write about is the supportive community that my family and I have built around us. Of course there are the family members, particularly our parents, who care so much, but it's truly amazing how many people in our lives care about what happens to us. Many of our neighbors reached out to help in the immediate moments after the crash. Friends I haven't seen since high school and Twitter pals I haven't met in person sent messages along, and many others sent offers to help.

The last couple of months have been tough for me. There have been good moments, but coping with the new issues related to my diabetes, and then Hannah having a rough few weeks with various issues, Marc being extra busy at work, and Max just being Max - it's been a lot. The car accident, in a strange way, felt like the one final thing that needed to happen and cap off this difficult period. Since then, things seem to have calmed down. Life has been going along as planned. We've gone to work and school. We've attended wonderful holiday parties with friends and neighbors, and a particularly amazing Hanukkah party at Temple Emanuel. I'm looking ahead to the next couple of long weekends with unplanned days in store, and can't wait to celebrate Max and Hannah's upcoming birthdays.

So thanks to all of you who have checked in on me. I really appreciate it, and wish you a very special holiday season and all the best in 2012.

The December Non-Dilemma

Originally posted here.

Well, folks, it's that time of year again.

No, silly, not *that* time of year. You know, it's the time for "we celebrate Hanukkah and I'm worried my kid might be traumatized that it's not as good as Christmas!" articles to start popping up all over the landscape. And believe me, there was a time when I worried over exactly the same thing.

There's a compulsive need to make certain your child isn't missing out on anything, and let's face it, it doesn't get any bigger than Christmas. From lights on houses, to friendly customer service people, and of course TV galore, Christmas is everywhere, and your child could easily feel left out.

Hanukkah commemorates a military victory, and by definition, is a more minor holiday in the Jewish calendar. There are lots of amazing traditions to enjoy as a family, from menorah lighting to dreidel spinning and latke eating. And yes, in our family, there is a lot of gift receiving too. It's eight days I look forward to celebrating all year, but we don't celebrate it trying to out-do or even match the spirit of Christmas.

We enjoy celebrating Hanukkah because we enjoy all of what being Jewish means. As a family, Marc and I have tried to imbue observing Judaism with a sense of joy and purpose. We celebrate Shabbat every week, but more than that we talk about Jewish things all the time. We read books and sing songs and keep a Kosher(ish) home. We look forward to holidays year-round, planning costumes for Purim, meals for Passover and sending cards for Rosh Hashanah with that the same enthusiasm we have for lighting the chanukiah. We seek out Jewish experiences to give our children, from preschool and summer camp to films and museums. We talk about the Holocaust, and we talk about Israel. Importantly, we talk about how fun it is to celebrate alongside our friends and family, especially those with beliefs and traditions different from our own.

If you feel your kids are missing out on Christmas, maybe they're really missing out on religion. Religion isn't just about being anti-commercial and not having any fun. Maybe that worked for our Puritan forebears here in New England, but it's not especially Jewish, and it's definitely not the way to get your kids turned on. A big part of Judaism is finding joy and celebration in life. Jews invented dreidels, after all--we're not against giving kids toys! As parents, we don't want to spoil our kids all year, but we want to buy them things sometimes. So, they get Hanukkah presents. Better that they should hear "you're so lucky you get eight nights of presents" than think they're unlucky not to get one visit from Santa.

Hannah is nearly eight years old, and last night, completely on her own, she sat down to write and color the above picture. The text reads (with my corrections), "I love Hanukkah! It gives me hope and joy. Lighting the chanukiah and saying the blessings. Eating latkes with apple sauce and sour cream. Playing dreidel, "shin" put some in. Eating jelly donuts with strawberry jelly. It's all fun."

Hanukkah is one small part of Judaism and hoping it can eclipse Christmas is setting one's self up for failure. But if you allow Judaism to have a bigger role in your life all the time, the Christmas season can seem to pale in comparison.

(And yes, that's a plate of vegetables in that Hanukkah picture. Clearly, we're doing a lot of things right!)

Marc Stober contributed to this post.