Showing posts with label BlogHer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BlogHer. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Hook: A #BlogHer14 Recap

Reading at the LTYM Open Mic
Well, I'm back from my second time attending the annual BlogHer conference. I expressed some self-doubt in my last post, and I think it was good for me to get that out of the way, because by the time I got to San Jose, I'd managed to let go of a lot of it. I knew what I wanted to get out of my time there, and I made sure that I did get it.

And I had an absolute ball.

Now there are logistics issues involved in every conference, but just like I wouldn't slam the organizers of something I attended for work online, I'm not going to talk about those issues here. I'll be filling out the conference evaluation, and if you desperately need to know my thoughts, I'll share them in a non-public way. Whining doesn't look good on anyone.

That being said, I also feel like some of the conference organizers and BlogHer employees have become friends. They even have a nickname for me. I know how hard they worked and are still working now, and I respect them too much to be negative when the overall experience brought me so much joy.

So, here's what I wanted to accomplish. I wanted to dedicate these few days to thinking about how to take my blogging to another level. I attended Pathfinder Day's business track (you can see the slides from the sessions online), and finally crafted an elevator pitch:
My name is Cheryl Stober, and welcome to Busy Since Birth. I focus on providing moments of "me too" connection and encouragement to fellow working parents, in all their capacities. My crazy-busy life has led me to say, "I'm having it all--at the exact same time."
I also realized that while the traditional paths to monetization may not be for me because of both my current job and my lack of passion for it, there may be other paths that I can pursue instead. So I'm making up a word: I want to "experience-ize" my blog. I'm hoping to find more opportunities for putting myself out there, whether it's writing for other outlets, or speaking, or podcasts, or video. I want to keep having new experiences because of this blog, and I think that I will. And if money happens to come along with it, all the better.

Which leads me to another aspect of this year's conference that I appreciated: in my opinion, the Expo floor experience was more manageable and the swag wasn't a reason to attend. Last year I felt really silly not trying to get more free stuff, and this year, it felt like less of a big deal. Sure, it's fun to learn about new products and see what might be an interesting new addition to your life, but I didn't feel pressured to participate or chase down party invitations, and that was a relief.

Now I read a lot of blogs. After last year's conference, I added even more to my blog reader. Then LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER added a whole new crew of people for me to follow. So I wasn't shy when I had the chance to approach bloggers I knew and admired, and enjoyed connecting with so many people. It's not like I'm in the same room with them every day, and so I made the most of every opportunity to chat. And taking those opportunities meant I had a lot of really meaningful conversations too. As it was BlogHer's 10th anniversary, there was a lot of discussion of where blogs have been and where they're going, and especially discussions on the impact we can have while handling difficult issues of race, gender, feminism, sexism, frankly, all varieties of activism. Those discussions aren't easy to have, but I felt BlogHer created a safe space where we could have them, so long as you participated with care and understanding. Every meal, every break, and even the late night hours in my hotel room with my roommates, was an opportunity for a deep connection to be made, and I savored them all.

Above all else, I was beyond thrilled to have my "found my tribe." This is something that is beaten to death in the blogging community, to find those people who get you, and yet now that it's really happened for me, I get it. There are lots of other people who I had fun with this weekend, but a huge thank you to Kimberly, Phyllis, Danielle, Lisa and Melissa.


And that right there? That's the hook. Yes, I'm going to quote Blues Traveler and say that it's the hook that brings you back, and those people and many more are the reason I'd want to keep attending BlogHer conferences. Because I laughed harder than I have in ages, cried real tears of emotion, had someone's back, challenged my perceptions, put myself out there and danced like a fool. There's even video to prove it, if you dig hard enough.

Other highlights? Getting my hair stroked by the LTYM New Cities Mentor. Hugging one of the BlogHer founders. Being called the wrong name by the founder of LTYM. :) Reading at the LTYM open mic and promoting the heck out of the show. The 10x10 presentations. Getting hand massages. Seeing Phyllis read at Voices of the Year. The writing lab I attended. The Mrs. Band and their "I'm Enough" campaign (seriously, go watch it). Dinner with bloggers I've long admired. The ridiculously awesome "bitch you can hug" Kara Swisher. Hearing about creating your own personal Board of Directors to advise you in life. Kerry Washington's selfie. Cheese cake instead of cheese steak. It's tricky.

I'm really, really glad I got to go. Thanks to everyone at BlogHer that made it all possible. Hoping to get hooked again next year.
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Monday, July 7, 2014

General Busy-ness: July 2014

Just like I predicted in my post on June and the fact that it was trying to kill me, life screeched to an abrupt halt on June 30. Max started day camp, Hannah's at overnight camp, and things slowed at work as people expected a quiet holiday week. This week is the least populated my calendar has been for longer than I can remember, and while June was a bit too much, this nothing much of a July isn't my taste either.

I've been doing some writing every day, only it's in the form of emails and letters to Hannah at camp. Sometimes it's twice a day if I use both mediums, and that is a lot of writing when you really don't have a lot going on. But I want her to get mail, so I make the effort, and today I was rewarded for that when camp posted a photo where I can see her reading one of my letters with a huge, unscripted smile on her face. Total Mom win.


Max has been enjoying the extra attention at home, though he misses Hannah too. We took him to the zoo this past weekend, and let him navigate with the map and climb all the structures he wanted. He fed a goat in the petting zoo, and actually wanted to put his face in the photo opp things with cut outs for your face. He's loving camp and happy to be with some school friends there.

I got meet a lovely little baby girl this weekend, too. Julie, Mike and Maya are going to be living in Boston again soon, and I'm so happy to have my best friend back in the area. I've missed just getting to hang out with Julie, and having them all as a more frequent presence in our lives again is going to be really wonderful. Especially wonderful since it now includes that sweet baby too.

The videos from all 32 performances of LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER are going to be posted online very soon, and I'll link to mine from here as well. I'm excited to get to re-live our show, even if I'm going to be doing some choking up in my own video, as I cried while reading my piece. I'm really excited to see friends from other cities, and to watch the impact of the Boston show spread further as our cast gets to share their videos. It's going to be awesome.

And BlogHer 2014 is just over two weeks away now, so I'm doing a certain measure of freaking out over that. I'm very excited to be going to the conference again, this time in San Jose, and I have a few goals in mind as I've already been scrutinizing the agenda. I'm excited to see lots of LTYM people from around the country, as well as other friends from last year's conference. I can't wait to room with Phyllis and Kimberly, and to see if we really do track down a mechanical bull. And, being me, I've tried to organize a pre-conference dinner with other Boston locals. But the freaking out is over how I can't really believe that it's been an entire year since the last conference. I came away last year feeling so motivated and thinking I'd grow the blog so much before attending again this year. And the truth is, things haven't grown much and have probably stagnated quite a bit. So I'm a bit disappointed by that, but hoping that BlogHer will help re-energize me and maybe give me some strategies for getting things done in this next year.

So, that's all the news from here. There's a summer storm rolling in, so I'd better get this posted and get off the computer. How are you?
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Monday, August 19, 2013

The Comforter Aisle (A Post on Sponsored Content)




The oldest picture I could find of Hannah in front of our comforter
Disclosure: I received the Yurbuds headphones mentioned below for free. All opinions are my own.

So I think we've reached the end of our series of posts on BlogHer 2013, but I never promised to be brief on such an amazing experience. This is perhaps the hardest post for me to write, but definitely the one I've thought about the most.

I decided to challenge my thinking a bit going into BlogHer, and see what I might want to do in terms of working with brands, sponsors, and paid content in general here at Busy Since Birth. I attended two parties outside the conference (which is very controversial, apparently), and spent a couple of hours walking around the Expo Hall. Since I didn't chose to buy the conference pass that was at the non-sponsored rate, which was considerably more money, I wanted to give the sponsors my time, and see what might be a good fit for me to tweet/talk about on my blog. For example, I spent time listening to the Yurbuds presentation from Best Buy, headphones that supposedly do not fall out of your ears, and decided they'd be a great addition to my commute, and when I exercise doing something other than Zumba. It was a product I didn't mind telling you I'd found--it was authentically something I would use.
But a lot of it felt problematic for me. I just don't use that many "products" in my life, I guess. I watched others talking to this brand or that, and I didn't feel comfortable engaging in the same way. While it's true that women are responsible for the vast majority of purchasing decisions, it's probably not true in my house. Marc does most of the shopping for household goods and groceries, and we've been in our home for long enough that we tend not to buy a lot of extras. When I do buy something, I usually don't spend a ton of time researching it in advance. My time is limited; if it's in front of me, and I like/need it, I'd rather get it done than spend more time on it. Which could help explain why I've had the same blanket on my bed for at least ten years.

Yes, there's a reason for the adorable picture of Hannah above, other than the adorableness of it. As I mentioned in my long "what I learned" post, I attended a session called "The UnMarketing Manifesto," and I've been thinking about it ever since. Panelist Dresden Shumaker said that once a blog starts acting more like a brand than the full range of someone's original voice, post topics tend to become more limited, and she might think of that blog as similar to "the comforter aisle in the big box store." Meaning that it's nice to know the aisle is there, but unless you're looking for a new comforter--an activity that probably doesn't happen all that often--you're not going to visit that blog as much either. I know that's true in my own experience, that when blogs feature a lot of sponsored content and the focus becomes more limited, I don't bother doing a lot of reading...and I'd hate for that to happen here. I buy new comforters far too infrequently.

So, Busy Since Birth, at least for the time being, is going to remain ad-free. However, I hope you'll keep reading when I do find things that I want to share with you. I'd like to be a resource for you to discover new products or services that fit this busy life (like a new app that helps you schedule appointments and activities...), but I can't enthusiastically write about the things that don't fit (...that's only currently available in Los Angeles). I hope you'll trust that anything I'm posting here is worth your while--and mine too.
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Sunday, August 4, 2013

#BlogHer13: The "What I Learned" Edition

So ostensibly, I went to BlogHer to actually learn something about this craft we call blogging. For all of you non-bloggers, it probably seems like all you need to do is sit down at a computer and spill your guts, which is mostly true, but I do think there is some art to it as well. I'm hoping to spend more time writing well over the next year, and chose to attend sessions that I think will help me on that journey, as well as the keynote BlogHer experiences. Here's what I tweeted over the weekend, along with the notes I wrote in my little green notebook. Because of course green.

Get ready for a whole lotta links.

Things got started at the BlogHer Newbie breakfast, where I was fortunate to sit with the amazing Cheryl Contee of Jack and Jill Politics, where she started us off with this great soundbite. You can't not be inspired thinking you're a part of something like that.
As soon as breakfast was over, I basically attacked Dresden Shumacker of Creating Motherhood, who had the idea of starting the mentor program, and whose blog I simply love.

Kimberly and I headed over to the morning keynote, given by The Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond. Ree claims not to have had much vision when she started off, but has clearly built her own empire since then. It was encouraging to hear that someone with all that success still mostly likes taking pictures of her dog, who she also serenades with "Endless Love."

Next I attended a panel called "Turning Blog Posts Into Published Essays" with Rita Arens of Surrender, Dorothy. No time to tweet during this session as I was so busy taking notes! My favorite takeaways:
  • Be sure to define what success means for you.
  • Stop verbal throat-clearing (too much babble at the beginning - guilty.)
  • Be sure to put in the necessary context when you're submitting elsewhere - don't use names or references others won't readily understand.
  • End the post with lots of one syllable words, as they have more weight.
  • Don't ignore opposing viewpoints. It's easy to just be mad about something; be sure to be specific and have a sharp focus.
  • Don't gloss over the difficult parts.
  • It's okay to acknowledge you might be wrong.
  • Community questions are okay at the end of a blog post, but only if you really follow up and have a good dialogue.
  • Cross-post to BlogHer when you can (something I need to look into doing!).
I followed this up by attending a panel called "What You Learn When You Speak Out." Again, not a lot of tweeting as I was so busy listening to the stories of Lori Duron of Raising My Rainbow, Adria Richards of But you're a girl, Mir of Woulda Coulda Shoulda. Each of them have fought courageous battles and harnessed the power of the Internet for good, and I was so inspired by their stories.

I skipped the keynote with Guy Kawasaki. Turns out it was quite a controversial moment to have missed, but I needed a break, so Kimberly and I hit the Expo floor. More to come on that in my one final BlogHer post.

The last panel I attended was moderated by Courtnee Westendorf of Intel, and featured The Huffington Post's Lisa Belkin, The Chicago Tribune's Jenniffer Weigel and Stacey Ferguson of Justice Fergie. The title was "Glass Ceilings, Work-Life Balance and other Working Woman Worries." Right up my alley. As I said earlier, Lisa Belkin has been a long-time favorite of mine, and I loved getting to see her on this panel. The discussion covered everything from careers to spirituality to marital deal-breakers to making time for friends. My favorite line came from Lisa, when she said that "there are days when we can't fit in everything. That's what tomorrow is for." I need to work on remembering that.



One more shout out about the amazing Voices of the Year celebration. My good friend Jessica couldn't be there, but her post was chosen as one of the honored, and as soon as I walked in, this display was right in front of me. You can read her amazing post here, and be sure to tell her she's a rock star.

Remember when I wrote a guest post for The Outlaw Mama? I was so happy to meet her in person during breakfast on Saturday morning.

Sheryl Sandberg did the morning keynote, and I was surprised to see how tamped down her message was for this crowd. She emphasized that "Lean In" is not just for those with high ambitions, but for all women who need the encouragement to do what they'd do if they weren't afraid. I think it helped her sell a lot more books that day--I just hope her new readers aren't disappointed. But again, I'm a fan of anyone furthering this conversation of work and women.

From there I went to a panel called "The Unmarketing Manifesto" on bloggers who chose not to focus (as much or at all) on working with brands. I have a lot more to unpack on my thinking here, but since I started this blog in 2007, I've never done anything officially sponsored by anyone else. That seems to be a rarity these days, but thankfully, those were the people I seemed to meet most at the conference. Jenna Hatfield of "Stop, Drop and Blog" talked about how it's really hard not to "fall in love with the shiny" when brands are courting you. Lots to think about here. You can read the unmarketing manifestos of all four participants here, here, here and here.

After lunch and a few interesting but not particularly relevant panels, I attended "Anatomy of a Story" for a reminder on what makes blogs worthwhile--our ability to tell a good story. Panelists Tanis, Jenni, Nicole and Vikki reminded us that stories are about the thing that changes, but you need to give the readers a reason to care about why the change happened. Look for the part that emotionally resonates, or figure out what questions need answering. And when all else fails, "everybody needs a gay!" is a great excuse for writing all on its own. Sorry, you just had to be there. :)

My last official session was called "Blogging the Unbloggable" with panelists Adrienne, Alex and Cora. While I wouldn't say that my writing is hitting every hot topic, I've gotten some criticism along the way, and can probably expect more to come. They emphasized that some people are truly unreachable and incapable of seeing different viewpoints, but that we shouldn't let it prevent us from trying. And Janelle commented loudly from the audience a reminder that "some people do need to be disturbed." A great session.

Gale Anne Hurd, producer of the television series "The Walking Dead" gave the evening keynote. I was pretty fried by that point and not listening well, especially because they showed us many clips of zombies. I spent most of this panel tweeting a new hash tag.

Again, the fashion show featuring bloggers of every stripe was hugely inspiring. These women radiated confidence.

And then we went to eat some cheeseburgers and wear bag hats at CheeseburgHer. No, that didn't teach me anything, but it was kind of fun.

So in case you couldn't tell, I had a fabulous weekend. And I can't wait to do it again.
PS: To the women of the Serenity Suite - thank you so, so much. You were the very best.
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Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Debunking BlogHer Myths

Like any good analyst, I read quite a lot about BlogHer before I attended the conference this past weekend. In fact, I've been reading pre- and post-conference posts for a number of years, and I've seen many, many advice posts. Here's a list of what I now know, since having experienced it this one time only makes me truly an expert. ;)
  • You will meet a lot of people in the lobby of the hotel: TRUE! I was positively stunned to meet Colleen in the lobby approximately 14 seconds after picking up my conference registration. I've been following her for years, from when I first complained about missing BlogHer back in 2009. She joined Kimberly and me for lunch, and finding her was an excellent way to start our trip. After lunch Kimberly and I spent even more time in the lobby, meeting Casey and many more in the process. The lobby rocks.
  • You will see the same people over and over again: TRUE! I realize now that some of this is due to "like choosing like"--that people who gravitated towards one type of session might also show up at a similar session (hi Danielle and Tabatha!). But I met Lea looking for the shuttle back to the hotel and saw her a million times, and we met Ashley at the very start of a day and saw her again at the very end. We checked out the Serenity Suite early in the conference and met the amazing Kelli, Sarah, Heather, Ellie and Stacey there, and basically ended the conference in the same place, with the same women. Real relationships happened.
  • You need to bring lots of snacks and a surge protector: In the words of the MythBusters, BUSTED. I did this and just ended up with sore shoulders and a heavy suitcase. I never opened my surge protector, despite using someone's at some point each day, and was able to find a close outlet whenever I needed one. I thought there were plenty of snacks available too, and announced to the entire Storytelling session that I had brought a giant bag of Skittles with me that I did not want back. And I was even more thrilled when Jenni and Vikki then wove the topic of Skittles in to the session.
  • You should dress in layers and wear comfortable shoes: TRUE! Yes, yes, lots of people say this, but it's absolutely true and I listened. I never ended up removing any of my layers (denim blazer one day, sweater cardigan the next), and my feet never hurt (sparkly Toms and Naots to thank for that). 
  • Voices of the Year and the Fashion Show are amazing: TRUE ISN'T A GOOD ENOUGH WORD. Yes, it's awesome to be in the same room as Queen Latifah and Wendi McLendon-Covey but I assure you that they spent those evenings feeling more like sideshows than the main event. The bloggers showcased in these programs were truly phenomenal. For once I gave arm-straining claps and standing ovations, not just "likes" and tweets. You can see the full list of those honored and a glimpse in to the fashion show.

In a future post, I'll be sharing some of what I learned from the sessions and keynote speakers, and talking about the big brand question...once I do a little more soul searching on that part. There has been a lot of quick-to-pounce criticism floating around about the event this year, particularly by people who chose not to attend. I'm here to tell you that I have very little to say about BlogHer that isn't overwhelmingly positive. I took exactly what I wanted from the experience, and sailed through it on pure adrenaline and a love for what I was doing. And I already can't wait for next year.
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Friday, July 26, 2013

I Need to Remember This.

I am supposed to be trying to sleep, or perhaps I should be out at a party, but what I most wanted to do is curl up in my bed with my laptop. I am a blogger, after all, and the last 48 hours have proved that to me beyond measure.

I've said it before, but bloggers are my people. Some of you are bloggers too, so you get it. Or maybe you're a Red Sox fan, or a cyclist, or in to certain type of music, or art. My tribe is bloggers. I am in my element here. I don't feel scared to introduce myself. I am good, I think, at being nice to people, making small talk, complimenting your outfit. I may not be the best writer I can be yet, but I am figuring it out and I know that meeting more of my tribe is only going to encourage me to elevate my game.

Today, I got to meet Lisa Belkin, most recently of The Huffington Post, whose career I have followed since her article on the "Opt Out Revolution" was published during the second trimester of my pregnancy with Hannah. I schmoozed on the Expo floor and realized I have a lot more feelings to explore on that. I sought out favorite bloggers who I knew mostly by their avatars. I learned about how to refine my writing for pitching it elsewhere, and what it's like to speak out on injustice and the tough situations that can follow such bravery. And yesterday was all about meeting people randomly, in the lobby and the serenity suite and in line at a party.

Tonight I got selected from a pot to read a blog post at the open mike session after BlogHer's main event, Voices of the Year. I read in front of maybe a hundred or so people (very dark room, VERY bright lights). People laughed when they were supposed to laugh, and they clapped at the end. I could barely feel my legs as I walked away from the podium.

I knew I needed this experience--I just didn't realize how much. More to come on all of it, but for tonight, I need to capture some of this magic in a bottle, so I can come back here the next time I'm feeling like maybe this writing into the abyss is a waste of time. For too many years, I watched the magic happen from home, on the sidelines. No more of that.

If this woman had a face, you'd see that it's me. Taken by Kimberly of
Red Shutters, my faithful buddy in this amazing experience.
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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

"Show Me Your Face" BlogHer13 Meme

Okay, I will play along. Here, BlogHer13 participants (and beyond), is my face.

Well, you already had my face from two years ago in tiny avatar form, but here's what I looked like more recently, on the first non-humid morning we'd had in Boston after a very long stretch of wretched mornings. This is the "as good as it gets" face, the hair that isn't totally triangulated yet face, the still wearing make up face, the taken from a flattering angle and good outdoor lighting face. And my front yard and the corner of my red house.

Chances are, you won't end up seeing this girl unless you find yourself waiting for the elevator immediately after leaving your hotel room at the same time as me, because she tends to disappear rather quickly. She's sometimes replaced by the pony tail-wearing face, or the concealer can't hide the bags under my eyes face, or more strands of grey in her hair than I realized face. But those girls are usually nice, so I hope you'll get to know them too.

Looking forward to meeting more of you than I can count.
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