Health Insurance With A Side of Condescension

About a year ago, I shared news with you all about my plans for some new treatment measures for my diabetes. While the continuous glucose monitor (CGM) didn't work out for me as well as I'd hoped, it was a useful short-term tool, and I have to say that I've taken much better care of myself this year. My numbers are good (but not so good that I'm battling lows regularly), I'm exercising and watching what I eat a little better, and importantly, testing my blood sugar at least three times a day to keep myself on track. The CGM has become the threat for me, that if I don't keep myself doing the right things, I will force myself to go back on it. It made me so stressed out and miserable, that it's a very effective threat.

I've said before that I'm not the model diabetes patient, but on the whole, I do a lot of what I'm supposed to do. I always take my meds. I keep my blood sugar in a good range. I get annual eye exams and blood work done regularly for all of the testing I need. Apparently, though, that's not the norm, and rather than seeing me as an exception, I'm lumped into this class of diabetes patients that, evidently, are total idiots. Otherwise, why would I get the following call from my insurance company? (Follow the link to listen.)

"Hello, this is Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts calling Cheryl with an important health-related message. This is not a telemarketing or election-related call. If you have diabetes, or know someone who does, please note that there are several diabetes tests that should be performed on a yearly basis. People who have diabetes have an increased risk of eye disease, and that is the reason why an eye examination specially designed for diabetics called a dialated [sic] retinal eye exam is recommended at least once every year. It is also recommended that people with diabetes have a cholesterol check, foot examination, special blood test called HBA1C to measure blood sugar levels and a urine test for kidney function on at least a yearly basis. Too often, events in our lives are outside our control. However, lifestyle changes within our control can enrich our quality of life. If your physician has already prescribed medication, or recommended lifestyle changes, a healthy diet, regular exercise and tobacco-free lifestyle, we encourage you to follow your physician's advice. Please continue as instructed. If you have diabetes and have not had all of these services, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts encourages you to call your physician to discuss if you need any of these tests. Thank you, and as always, we wish you the best of health."

Eighty-seven seconds of a voicemail message that left me quite upset. Regardless of the fact that if anyone should know if I've gone to my doctor for those tests, IT'S THE INSURANCE COMPANY THAT'S PAYING FOR THEM, I can't imagine there are too many doctors out there saying "you have diabetes and never ever need to do anything about it ever again." Or that there are so many diabetics who receive a diagnosis and don't do anything about it themselves (trust me, high blood sugar makes you feel horrible, and you can't go on living that way indefinitely). You can't even watch television without ads for glucose meters popping up every few minutes. The HBA1C blood test is the minimum standard for care, a test I've probably had at least two dozen times. There are so many built-in checks in the healthcare system too, like prescriptions that expire, forcing you to make contact with a doctor to get them renewed. And there are a whole class of diabetics like myself that "lifestyle changes" aren't going to help very much. Yea, having diabetes is an event that's "outside my control."

I don't mean to make light of what my insurance company is trying to do here (except for where they pronounced the name of the eye test wrong. Come on.), but simply calling every single patient with a "diabetes" box checked and no further refinement of their data is obnoxious. I'd actually had my blood work done just two days before receiving this call. Rather than empower me to take care of my health, the message made me feel like people with diabetes are incapable of managing their lives. The elementary level diabetes education it provided, to someone who has been dealing with this disease for a very long time, and aware of it for even longer than that, was simply condescending.

As always, I am very grateful to my employer for providing me with health insurance in the first place. But with so much political discussion around healthcare reform and insurance, it seems to me that this message isn't an effective use of anyone's premium dollars. Except maybe as blog fodder.

Hey! Hi! How are you?

It's only been 10 days since my last post, but that is beginning to feel like an eternity to me, so a catch up post is in order. I promise it's been a really busy 10 days.

- I took a day off from work to shop and prep for our annual sukkah party. Of course the only picture I got around to taking was of the food, but isn't that the best part of any party anyway? We had a great afternoon. At one point, it seemed like every portion of the house was in use all at once, which was pretty cool. We attended a couple of other Sukkot events, and I was finally in the mood for the holiday...
- Just in time for it to end. But we had a nice night at temple for Simchat Torah. We've started to make Max practice the Shema, the most important Jewish prayer, as a year from now it'll be his consecration and he'll need to know how to say it then. One of the lines ends with "Adonai echad" and he has been substituting "laolam va'ed." If you know which two prayers I'm referencing, you'll see how easy it is for him to have made that mistake - yet I've never thought of it that way myself before.
- Tuesday saw me up early to do the 6 am Zumba class at the JCC, which I am hoping to make a regular habit again now that the holidays are behind us. I'm no longer seeing my personal trainer, but am still making an effort to keep exercising. I also took the kids for their flu mists and Max for a haircut, and was happy to be able to work late that day and shift my hours to accommodate my life.
- On Wednesday Marc and I closed on the refinancing of our house, and it was by far the smoothest experience we've had with these processes. This time, I handled the process entirely, and it was fun to be the primary borrower for the first time in my life. Yes, I am a total loan nerd. :)
- Thursday found me at the dentist for two tiny fillings that were adjacent to each other. I am a HUGE wimp when it comes to dental pain, and my jaw is still a bit sore 72 hours later. I actually skipped out on attending a social event that night because I knew how miserable I'd be!
- Friday was really busy at work, completing a major project and doing a film shoot for a new webcast with my bosses. Saturday we were back at synagogue for a family service, then we went to the Newton Harvest Festival and Ana and I went to see "Pitch Perfect" that night. Today has been another packed day with another workout, cleaning and laundry, and working with Hannah on a huge school project.

And yes, it's looking like a busy week ahead. But, I'm leaving for Naples, Florida, BY MYSELF, on Thursday. I'll be spending my birthday weekend with Julie. It's still in the 80's there and we will be going to a beach. I am super excited for this time away and a chance to slow down a bit. It sounds like a good way to start off the second half of this decade.

A couple extra cute pictures, just because I can. How're things with you?

The Truth About (My) Maternity Leave

Marissa Mayer, the newly appointed CEO of Yahoo!, gave birth to her son earlier this week, and the flurry of articles on the state of her maternity leave have been published. I've found it hard to read a lot of them, since they are critical of her choice to spend little time at home, and work through that time as much as she sees fit.

I understand that for many women, the idea of working while parenting a newborn is a complete non-starter. But I don't believe that's true for all women. Because it wasn't true for me.

When Hannah was born in 2004 and Max in 2008, I was very fortunate to be working for companies that provided some version of a paid twelve week maternity leave, and I took full advantage of it. I loved the chance to be home with my babies, both to recover physically and get used to all of the demands that parenthood requires. However, I was never completely unplugged from the office.

The first thing I did after coming home from the hospital with Hannah? I logged into my work email account. Four years later while in labor with Max, I was sending work emails from my Blackberry between contractions. Maybe it's just my overachieving nature or my desire to control things, but I still spent those weeks plugged in to what was happening in my offices to whatever degree I could - and I was a 26 and 30 year old insignificant player in all of it. I put pressure on myself - not my bosses, just this internal compulsion - to keep my head in the game, to not miss out, to prove that I was worthy. I can only imagine that Mayer, in the position she holds, hears that same internal pressure even more loudly than I did.

When I wasn't thinking about work, I was fairly immersed in other things. With Hannah, I still took one class towards the completion of my MBA, and made reruns of "The West Wing" a scheduling priority (this is pre-DVR, people!). With Max, I was obsessed with the Obama-Clinton primary races, and I still had to pick up Hannah from school each day. One of my proudest parenting moments was getting Hannah and six day old Max to Hannah's first ballet class on a super cold and icy day, being as put together myself as I could be while trying to figure out how to breastfeed on the go. My house was always clean, the laundry was always done. I always showered, even if I didn't put on the cutest outfits afterward. I'm sure there were rough days where I let things go, but generally, I stayed on top of a lot of it. That's just who I am.

Again, I was very fortunate. I didn't suffer from postpartum depression, my children were healthy, I had a lot of advantages. Hopefully for Mayer, she's in a similar position.

But here's the thing: Mayer's position is different because she is in fact a CEO. She has the power to prove that family-friendly policies like maternity leave (and heck, even paternity leave!) can be put in place at a company and the company can still do well! She has the chance to encourage and support her employees, and to grant them access to the programs they need to start off family life on the right foot. She has a platform to encourage benefits like these throughout corporate life and beyond. And if she does, it's likely that her employees are going to be motivated to do more and better for their company. It certainly worked that way for me.

So I get it if Mayer wants to, needs to, work. It's not about her choice there. For me, it's about the choices she can afford to others.

The Live Music Files: Mixfest and Idina Menzel

Since my second most-read blog post* is on a concert I attended a while back, I figured it was worth writing up the two shows I saw during the month of September. Yes, two! I'm amazed myself.

Fifteen years after attending my first Mixfest, I was back for more. Mixfest is a free concert given by a local radio station, and the first time I went was while a sophomore in college, the Sunday date in 1997. Here's Carol and me from that night - yes, I had bangs before bangs were cool. I think we were waiting for the Barenaked Ladies to take the stage when this was taken.

It was a bit different to be there again, this time as a parent. Max was annoying for about 80% of the time we were there. The band Train was the headlining attraction, and Max loves the song "Hey Soul Sister." When they finally played it, the reaction on Max's face was priceless. Hannah loved being a part of the huge crowd, even as it began to rain harder during the finale. You can see Pat Monahan from Train on the TV screen above (and the clouds rolling in at the start of the show).

This past weekend, Marc and I went to see Idina Menzel in concert. I didn't have the opportunity to see her in her starring roles in "RENT" or "Wicked," so I wasn't about to let this time pass me by.

The concert was phenomenal. I expected the songs from her shows and the anecdotes she sprinkled throughout the two hour concert, but I didn't expect her to be so personable and as open as she was. She talked about how hard it is to be a working mom, which you all know is one of my favorite topics. She reminded the crowd multiple times that she's Jewish, including singing a bit of "Ma Nishtana" when asking why tonight was different when she wasn't being pushed off stage at the 90-minute mark. She sang "At the Ballet" from "A Chorus Line" as a tribute to Marvin Hamlisch, and one of my all-time favorite songs, Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes." With that one, she quickly transitioned from another song, and with the first word, just simply "love," I gasped, knowing what was to come. She sang "For Good" a Capella, which was lovely to hear in the giant Wang Theatre, and invited audience members to duet with her on "Take Me or Leave Me." It was such a great show, and reminded me once again that I need to see more live music. I hope I get another opportunity to do so soon!

*You may be wondering what my most-read blog post is after that link above. It's this one.

Springboard Conference Part Two: Figuring Out Where I'm Going

So as I stated in my last post, I met fabulous people on Friday night and was thrilled to get to spend time learning with them on Saturday. First off, I was very excited about my new outfit and fancy new shoes. :) My friend and neighbor Carla drove me over to the Boston Convention and Exposition Center, and once I wrestled a bit with the wifi, I was ready to get down to business.

As I've discussed before though, "business" for me isn't as much about the marketing side of doing all this. So some of the sessions on affiliate marketing and working with brands weren't really for me, though the advice I heard to "be delightful" when working in these capacities really transfers well to all aspects of life.

Instead, I attended Amy of Selfish Mom's session on podcasting, which may feed into an idea I have for something down the line here at Busy Since Birth. I must confess that I've been reading Amy's blog for a long time, and was a bit starstruck to be sitting at a table with her and learning in such an intimate session (there were less than 10 of us in the session). Amy was super-supportive and encouraged us all to contact her for help if we need it, which I really appreciated.

Next up was "Coffee and Contracts" with Charlene of Charlene Chronicles, where she detailed many of the legal aspects to this blogging life. There is a lot to be careful of when posting things on the internet, and this was a good reminder to slow down and think things through.

My favorite session was "Light, Layout, Edit and Hook" by Amy of A Nest For All Seasons. When I met her the night before, I immediately loved her energy and knew I would enjoy learning from her. Amy jampacked her two hours, first with a bit of camera work tutorial, and eventually teaching us about how to apply to different sites. A few of my new friends with laptops were able to start posting things then and there, which was really exciting to see.

The night and conference ended with a great dinner at Maggiano's Little Italy, where we were all too tired to tweet, which is saying a lot for this crowd. :) I snagged a ride home with Cindy of The Social Craft, and we got to see the biggest skunk ever just before dropping my dear Jessica of Don't Mind the Mess at home. And yes, I have to mention all of these car rides, because the chance to digest and discuss all of this with friends made the conference even better.

I took away so much from this inaugural Springboard, and I hope to attend more blogging conferences in the future. Mostly, it gave me the opportunity to focus on what I'm doing and where I want this adventure to go. I hope to give life to some of the new ideas I have soon. Thanks so much to all of the conference sponsors and most of all to Christy and Kim for organizing such an inspiring and thought-provoking opportunity for us all.

Springboard Conference Part One: Last Friday Night with Odyssey Cruises

So, my first blogging conference. Nervous and excited, I boarded the Odyssey cruise on a chilly Boston evening to get started on this new adventure. I was at the wharf early, and waited around, looking for other bloggy types until I spotted Christy of Quirky Fusion, one of the conference organizers. A group of us got on the boat together after taking the quick picture in my last post, and within minutes we were exchanging business cards and figuring out who everyone was.

The dinner was seated, and I ended up spending most of the evening talking with the other women at my table: Melissa of A Wide Line, Amy of A Nest For All Seasons and Kristin of MamaLuvsBooks. If you spend a few minutes looking around their sites, you'll see that we all do things fairly differently from one another, but it didn't stop us from gabbing the night away. There is something about other bloggers; I guess we're accustomed to sharing things about our lives, and I think we tend to be good at doing that in person as well. Or, at least the ones who put themselves out there and attend events have to be good at it. If you're just at home in your PJ's all the time, you probably don't have much to blog about anyway. :) I also got to meet Kimberly of Red Shutters and reconnect with other Boston Parent Bloggers (check my blog roll for lots of great people there).

The food and ship were nicer than I expected, not having been on a harbor cruise in quite a long time. The band was a little loud considering we were all trying to have conversations and not dance, but I'm sure the rest of the boat was wondering what we were all doing there. I didn't even take a picture of the Boston skyline - I was so busy taking in everything from this great group. And sampling this yummy raspberry mousse.

I was lucky enough to snag a ride home with JD of Honest Mom, an "honorary Jew" I got to meet a few months ago and instantly connected with then too.

It was a fabulous night, and left me very excited for what was ahead for the next day. Thanks Odyssey for having us!

Just Saying a Quick Hello

I have approximately 14 free seconds to write this blog post today, so this is just a quick one to let you know the following:

Springboard was fabulous. More to come on that, but I learned a few things and met a lot of truly wonderful people, some of whom are pictured above. I stayed out late both Friday and Saturday nights, which made me realize that I am indeed getting older.

Sunday morning I took Max to Touch a Truck, which is a morning filled with more sirens and horns than you can ever imagine. Thankfully, Max was super well-behaved, since the event features so many tantruming children (everything has a long line to sit in, and then the kids don't want to move on). Max is sitting in a paddy wagon above - hopefully the only time he'll ever do that.

Tonight is the start of Yom Kippur, and I cooked something for the second time this holiday season - a carrot kugel. For those of you observing the holiday, I hope you have an easy fast and a meaningful day. G'mar chatimah tovah!