Tall Black Boots - #NaBloPoMo 21

New boots and patterned tights!

No joke: when I talk about clothing on this blog, you all seem to go wild. I'm by no means a fashion blogger, but once in a while, I like to talk about clothes, and you all DIG. IT. It's Friday, this is my 22nd straight blog post and I've no more words left in my brain. Therefore I give you my new tall black boots.

I've only been wearing boots like this for a few years now, because the first time I ever tried on a pair was a disaster. It's one of those moments burned in my memory. I stopped in a shoe store in Porter Square while waiting for the next commuter rail to arrive (after I'd graduated college, but was still living in Waltham). I just barely got the boots on, decided they were not for me, and then after getting one off easily, the other would not budge. Not a bit. Fortunately, the sales girls were at the front of the store, oblivious to my plight, as I pulled and pulled. I have no idea how I finally got that boot off, but it terrified me to ever try on boots in public for many years. Thank goodness for advancements in Internet shopping since then.

My last pair of tall black boots was very cute, but VERY uncomfortable. I've worn them for a couple of years now, and the pounding in my heels meant agony by the end of the day. So this time I spent a lot of time reading reviews, with comfort high on my list of must-haves. Here's the pair I found, and it's a match made in heaven. It's my second full day wearing them now, and I don't have a single complaint!

What about you? Any new items you're dying to tell the world about?

20 Minutes to Better Parenting - #NaBloPoMo 20

Max, working on his morning task chart

I've decided that all it takes for me to be a better parent is 20 minutes of alone time in the house, every weekday. This is harder to find than it sounds, but for me, it makes a ton of difference in my attitude.

Since school started, I've been going in to work after getting the kids on the bus each morning, and then getting home after Marc has picked up the kids and they've returned home. That means things are already in full swing when I've walked through the door: Marc is usually starting dinner, mail and (sometimes) school notices have been piled up, the kids are simultaneously needing to tell me about their days, and all I want a bit of quiet after my hour of commuting. With the current arrangement, that's not really feasible.

In our old arrangement, when I was responsible for pick up, if all the stars aligned, I might get 20 minutes in the house before going to get the kids. In that 20 minutes, I'd sort through the mail, unload the dishwasher, reload the breakfast dishes, maybe start a load of laundry. Then when I went to get the kids, I wasn't trying to cram in all of those things while distractedly listening to them; I could actually focus better. I still needed to ask them to stop talking at the same time as each other, but I even did that in a nicer way.

I'm hoping to reclaim a bit of that time in the mornings. I've been getting up later, and I need to stop doing that. I should at least be able to get the dishes done, and maybe I can bring the laundry down so I can start it more easily in the evenings. Max and I just came up with a list of the tasks he needs to do every morning, and I'm going to start an incentive system to help him get them done with less nagging from me. Maybe I can find 20 minutes of time where I'm at least downstairs by myself.

As my friend Nanette said in our discussion group last weekend, things are good, but they can use some tweaking. Twenty minutes is a good start.

My First Vlog! - #NaBloPoMo 19

I have 100% stolen this idea from Phyllis. Of course, I shouldn't call it stealing, I should say she inspired me. My very first vlog.

So what do you think? I should hear my phone ringing from The Today Show any minute now, right?

What about you? What's your ideal job?

Learning to Love Math - #NaBloPoMo 18

I know, I know. You already think you don't want to read this post, just because of the title alone. I thought about doing something more click-bait-like, such as "How to Work in Finance When You Hate Math" or "Math Sucks, But I Made it Work For Me" or "She Changed Her Attitude on Math, and You Won't Believe What Happened Next!"

I had the idea for this post back on October 23, and it's been sitting in my inbox for a long time, which is not the way I usually work. If I have an idea, I usually have to act on it quickly, because so many of my thoughts hit me in a fully-formed way. But this time, I've been stumbling. This isn't the post I'd originally imagined, because I've decided that I need to change my attitude on math, an attitude that has been very poor for far too long.

I don't remember having too much difficulty with math when I was in elementary school, except when I needed to memorize my multiplication facts and had a really hard time with 7 x 8. But by the time I entered algebra in 8th grade, I really struggled. I never cut myself any slack for the fact that I was doing this a year early and in the advanced class. I just assumed that I should be able to do it, and because I'd never really struggled too much with school work prior to this point, it was a really hard adjustment when I couldn't. I sought out extra help, and I studied hard, but I just was never as good at math as the other subjects. I was a solid B student in the advanced classes all throughout high school, even into AP Calculus. It killed me that I could have had a higher grade point average if I'd taken the lower level classes and gotten an A in those, probably with a lot less effort too, but I stuck with it. Being in those advanced classes was a big part of my self-image.

You would think that someone wouldn't major in Economics when math is a challenge, but I did it anyway. My college had a strong liberal arts focus, but I needed something practical. I was terrified to graduate and not be able to find a job (kind of like the current plot line for Drew, if there are any Parenthood fans out there). I struggled through Statistics--twice--in undergrad and while getting my MBA. Somehow, while pregnant with Max, taking my last course of my MBA program, I managed to get an A in Fixed Income, the area of finance in which I now work. It was a great capstone moment for me, but I was so caught up in life at the time, that it didn't change how I felt.

What has finally gotten me to change my attitude is my ten year old daughter. October 23, when I realized I needed to write this post, was two days after parent-teacher conferences, where I once again discussed my fear of Hannah developing an "I hate math" complex. She doesn't seem to struggle with math the way I did, but will admit that it's not her favorite. Her teachers told me how well she's doing with it, and that they didn't feel any pushback from her, but I still fear that it's coming.

So since then, I've been making more of an effort to explain what I *like* about math to her. I like when I have a complicated issue that is best described by comparing one result with another. I like when I can solve something by backing into it and figuring out the formulas. I like when I can bridge the gap between the portfolio managers I work with and our clients or prospects. I like that I'm strong enough with jargon to toss it around capably and effectively. I like when I can intuitively know an answer is wrong, be able to explain why that is, and help to determine the correct solution. I like that I've found a way to be part of my industry without having to pretend I'm something else.

I'm not ready to walk around with this "I (heart) math" tote bag just yet. But I'm getting closer.

Spied on a fellow Green Line commuter.

First Friend - #NaBloPoMo 17

 photo credit: Creativity+ Timothy K Hamilton via photopin cc

You probably wouldn't guess it knowing me now, but just like so many other preschool girls, I wanted to be a ballerina. It's fuzzy, and I'm sure my mom will correct me on the things I get wrong here. But these are my first memories of friendship.

We were in preschool together, and our moms would take turns carpooling us to the instructor's house. It wasn't a dance studio, but someone's basement. I guess we would arrive there later than the other girls, and we needed to change into our leotards and tights. The two of us would be in the ballet teacher's bathroom, by ourselves, and I guess it must have taken us a while to complete this task. After all, we couldn't have been more than four or five years old, and leotards and tights are complicated. But I'm pretty sure I was the good girl, ready to go, and my friend was the one taking forever. The instructor would yell up the basement stairs for us, and we would giggle endlessly, our first taste of getting in trouble.

Through synagogue, I knew that girl for most of my childhood, and we're Facebook friends even now, though I doubt she'll read this post. She and I were never really friends after preschool, even though we saw each other three times a week at Hebrew school. I always wondered if she remembered how we felt in those days, but I'm sure that she did. It was too late for our friendship though. I'd settled too far into a good girl role, and that didn't mesh with the little bit of a rebel in her. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I can still hear her laughing.

***

A few of my blogging friends are also writing posts on the theme of friendship today. Links below!
The Napkin Hoarder: Making Friends 
Red Shutters: Musings on Friendship 
Another Version of a Mother: My Phone People
What makes a Real family: Make New Friends
A Wide Line: Friendship Squares

Those Crazy Squares - #NaBloPoMo 16

A few months ago, I wrote a post about squares, and how a series of squares represents the weeks of our lives. The premise belonged to someone else, but the basic idea was to say that each week, we should be doing something that furthered us along to some greater goal, whatever that goal might be. I really liked the idea, and thought that each week I should definitely find some time to advance my goals. In a whole week, I should be able to find some time for me, right?

It turns out not to be as easy as I thought. Because even if I do find some time just for me each week, it turns out that sometimes I just want to get a manicure, or watch TV. I don't always want to think about my grand ambitions: how I got rejected from that anthology, how I haven't tried pitching anything new for a while. Keeping it in my Google Calendar task section was supposed to motivate me. Now, it just taunts me. I was solid for a good six weeks. Then, life happened.

I still think it's a good way to visualize how I'm spending my time. Any sort of accountability works well for me. But, even though in my mind I'm this accomplished writer with a lot to say, I'm really a wife, mother of two, and product manager first.

I just have to make sure I don't use up too many squares in a row without working on the writer side of me.

Off to the Theater - #NaBloPoMo 15

It's a double header for me! Wild Kratts Live with Max this morning, and Annie as a family tonight. Starting in 12 minutes! Hope you've had half as much fun as me!