Today is the first day in a while where I haven't felt completely overwhelmed.
I know a lot of that is self-imposed. But keeping all of the plates spinning these last few months has taken so much effort, and we all know that I'm already a so much effort kind of person. And it's funny, because it's the day before Election Day, and I can see the spinning out of so many others as their worry crescendos in a palpable way. I've had to shut out so much of that for myself, because as much as I'd like to have been right there with them, I just can't. Kids, dog, job, home, board work (times three), planning a bar mitzvah, and trying to figure out a separation and divorce. I toggle from email to video meetings to reminders to voicemails to lists and notes. I write emails to a friend that include the phrase "and and and and and" often. Basically daily.
I am okay, and I'm really not complaining. It is a lot, but I am better than I was, and I know that. I am zoning out in my favorite way, watching TV (which is a totally legit form of self care, thank you very much), and I am going to be fine.
There are going to be more days like this one ahead, when the work is manageable and the kids are quiet and the dog is napping and the house is clean and the dinner is made. It's good to know those days are still ahead, even if their frequency is limited right now. And someday, I'll probably look back on my time in the Land of Overwhelm and know that I'd give anything to be back there again. So I should probably try a little harder to be grateful for all of it right now.